Scottyp Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The one thing that I'll never understand is women, tofu, yoga, and counting...
←Rate | 06-08-2012 13:44 by Scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even if you don't believe in the Mayan calender, somewhere in the back of your mind you're thinking "I wonder if that sh!ts for real".....
←Rate | 06-05-2012 10:59 by Scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon It turns out Donna Summers lied, She Wont Survive....
←Rate | 05-17-2012 16:09 by Scottyp Comments (1)  


   messageicon "Luke, I'm like totally your father. Party on." ~~Garth Vader
←Rate | 03-15-2012 14:21 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon In case anyone is wondering, it's 72 degrees and partly cloudy in India today. The only reason I know this is because I just had a pleasant conversation with a Customer Service rep from Bank of America....
←Rate | 02-20-2012 09:42 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm convinced that whoever invented crack cocaine is also responsible for Samoa girl scout cookies. The similarities are too obvious to ignore...
←Rate | 01-28-2012 18:39 by Scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon On-Star has made it so much more difficult for me to take my time when I'm robbing accident victims....:-)
←Rate | 06-07-2011 13:24 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I could find a drug dealer that could get me about 200 mg of Phuckitol.......
←Rate | 05-24-2011 14:35 by scottyp Comments (1)  


   messageicon Picking out an appropiate outfit for a Rapture is so frustrating....and I don't even want to get into picking the right accesories...
←Rate | 05-21-2011 11:03 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've been invited to a Post-Rapture looting event but I replied "Maybe attending" because I've also been invited to a Judgement Day event and I need to see how that goes before I decide for sure....
←Rate | 05-19-2011 17:29 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon The cops came at my house last night and told me my dogs had been chasing someone on a scooter. I told them off. My dogs don't even have a scooter..
←Rate | 05-18-2011 00:47 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I slept like a baby last night,,,,of course minus the peeing and pooping on myself.......
←Rate | 04-17-2011 09:05 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just watched a mattress commercial where the lady said, "It feels really good, no matter what position I'm in".....Why can't I meet a woman like that????
←Rate | 04-14-2011 19:04 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Somehow, hitting the 'end call' button on the cell phone just doesn't feel nearly as good as the old days when you could slam the phone down on somebody.
←Rate | 04-12-2011 19:53 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cats are really not all that bad...................It turns out, I've been cooking them wrong this whole time...
←Rate | 04-10-2011 20:01 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Beware the disease Idiotitis. It causes the brain to shut down and the mouth to keep talking. Thousands are affected. May be contagious. Best defense: Just slap and run.
←Rate | 04-08-2011 18:43 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon It seems I have 3 personalities. One that has a plan, one that completely screws up the plan, and one that says "what the hell happened to the plan?"......
←Rate | 04-08-2011 07:18 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I don't have my budget balanced by tomorrow--I am just going to shut down...
←Rate | 04-06-2011 19:23 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Money may not buy happiness but it can certainly improve the quality of your misery
←Rate | 04-04-2011 12:29 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just so all of my friends know, If I ever say the phrase "okie dokie artichokie" to you, it's a signal and means I've either been kidnapped or I'm wearing a wire. One of the two
←Rate | 03-30-2011 08:25 by scottyp Comments (0)  




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