Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Establish dominance by waiting until your wife serves the turkey and then tell her you already ate.
←Rate | 11-22-2018 11:01 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I talk a lot about sex for someone who doesn’t remember it.
←Rate | 11-22-2018 10:51 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Javascript is when your doctor writes you a prescription for more coffee. Everyone knows that.
←Rate | 11-22-2018 07:46 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe I talk to myself because I'm my own therapist
←Rate | 11-22-2018 07:45 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People are so quick to think you smoke when they see a lighter in your room. Did you stop to think for a second that maybe, just maybe I use it to heat up heroin in my teaspoon Abigail?
←Rate | 10-29-2018 13:03 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions
←Rate | 10-18-2018 11:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Business in the front, party in the back! Linda’s Accounting And Brothel Services.
←Rate | 10-12-2018 05:44 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Instead of testing products on animals, how about testing on people who don’t say thank you after you hold the door open for them. Just a suggestion.
←Rate | 09-28-2018 13:35 by Kisstopher707 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Crickets are really loud for something that gets eaten by everything
←Rate | 09-20-2018 12:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am a husband. Hear me apologise for something I did in my wife's dream.
←Rate | 09-17-2018 02:21 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just cleaned my house by turning off the lights.
←Rate | 09-01-2018 06:13 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was feeling tough and manly until I realized the spider was on the inside of the window.
←Rate | 08-31-2018 08:16 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doing it wrong is the only thing I do right.
←Rate | 08-09-2018 10:05 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I reserve anal sex for special occasions. First dates for example.
←Rate | 08-02-2018 08:38 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m suffering complications following my birth
←Rate | 08-01-2018 01:46 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm always here if you need someone to talk to. I'll even remove your duct tape.
←Rate | 07-27-2018 12:18 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I sexually identify as please stop talking to me.
←Rate | 07-05-2018 01:33 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does Facebook realize when they put us in Facebook jail, they're separating us from our families?
←Rate | 07-03-2018 00:40 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My son screamed like a little girl when he saw a spider so no paternity test was needed.
←Rate | 06-28-2018 05:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thighs that slap together when you walk are just giving the owner an applause.
←Rate | 06-28-2018 02:11 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  




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