@UXBRIDGEGUY Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing '@UXBRIDGEGUY': View All Messages
Page: 3 of 5

   messageicon Just heard the gay channel have dropped the soap awards.
←Rate | 08-10-2014 18:01 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I forget, on which side of my dinner plate am I supposed to set my phone?
←Rate | 08-10-2014 17:59 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes you have to take a deep breath & remind yourself that you wouldn’t look cute in prison clothes & smile at the jerk & walk away.
←Rate | 08-10-2014 17:57 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I hear someone complain that their towns are boring with nothing to do, all I hear is a boring person who doesn't know how to have fun.
←Rate | 08-10-2014 17:56 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Inspirational thought: One day you will die, but every other day you won’t. So that’s pretty great, right?
←Rate | 08-10-2014 17:55 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you're getting old when everything either dries up or leaks
←Rate | 08-06-2014 13:17 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon “you look tired” is the politically correct way of saying “you look like crap”
←Rate | 08-06-2014 10:37 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon However lonely you feel, you’re never alone… There are literally millions of bugs, mites, and bacteria living in your house.
←Rate | 08-05-2014 03:35 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was at the pool today and tried to sneak a quick pee in the deep end. The lifeguard must have seen me. He blew his whistle so loud that I almost fell in.
←Rate | 08-05-2014 03:34 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everytime I see a mattress tied to the top of a car, I think….there’s another prostitute making a house call
←Rate | 08-03-2014 19:16 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hot singles in your area are dating each other while you sit alone staring at your phone.
←Rate | 08-03-2014 19:12 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon How I feel when you complain about your boyfriend to me is how Yahoo feels when people use them to search for Google’s homepage.
←Rate | 08-03-2014 19:12 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some days you’re the Titanic, some days you’re the iceberg, and some days you’re the guy who jumped off and hit the propeller on the way down.
←Rate | 08-03-2014 19:10 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Suggestion for Mark Zuckerberg: When someone defriends me on Facebook, a picture of my bare butt pops up on their screen
←Rate | 08-03-2014 19:09 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents job.
←Rate | 08-03-2014 19:09 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon "This chick on Instagram posts so many pictures of her boyfriend I feel like I’m dating him."
←Rate | 08-03-2014 19:08 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear McDonalds cashier, dont give me that look. There’s no age limit on a happy meal. And don’t forget the toy!
←Rate | 08-01-2014 15:13 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Beauty comes in all shapes & sizes. Small,large,circle,square,thin crust, thick crust,stuffed crust,extra toppings.
←Rate | 07-28-2014 12:43 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn’t even eat them?
←Rate | 07-28-2014 12:41 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice,I'm made of sarcasm, wine and everything fine
←Rate | 07-28-2014 12:39 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  




[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left