Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Play boy no longer have nude models...... What is this world coming to.
←Rate | 06-13-2018 15:07 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Burger King is changing their name to Pancake King.
←Rate | 06-13-2018 10:26 by DJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate people who take drugs. Customs agents, for example.
←Rate | 06-13-2018 09:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Past, Present and Future walked into a bar. It was a tense situation.
←Rate | 06-13-2018 09:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There’s actually a thing called “Play Dates “ in 2018. In 1984 we called that “Going outside to play”
←Rate | 06-12-2018 23:02 by Cicci Comments (0)  


   messageicon The kid next door is outside banging on a metal bucket in his front yard ..... time to go mow my gravel driveway.
←Rate | 06-12-2018 09:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know why it's called almond milk? Cuz you can't say nut juice with a straight face
←Rate | 06-12-2018 07:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got carded at the liquor store. While getting my ID out my Blockbuster card fell out. He laughed and said "Never mind."
←Rate | 06-12-2018 07:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just swallowed a probiotic with a vodka tonic in case anyone is looking for a health coach.
←Rate | 06-12-2018 02:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The North Korean President is just meeting with the US President..He suddenly stood up and said . I Don't need this Crap.. .I'm going to the bathroom for a Trump...
←Rate | 06-11-2018 16:33 by Gerry Comments (1)  


   messageicon A homeless man asked for money today and instead I gave him my thoughts and prayers. We had a good laugh until he gave me a concussion.
←Rate | 06-11-2018 14:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most kid's grandpas pulled a quarter from their ear . . . mine put a quarter in, twisted my nose, and bubblegum rolled out!!!
←Rate | 06-11-2018 13:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Shall I compare thee to a Summer's Eve? For thou art a Douche." -Rejected Shakespeare line.
←Rate | 06-11-2018 09:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing lightens up the G7 Summit like a little low-brow humor.
←Rate | 06-11-2018 06:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Breaking news: Justify declines invitation to the White House.
←Rate | 06-10-2018 20:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Walmart won't sell guns to anyone under 21. So if you're 21 or older and angry..... Come on down.
←Rate | 06-09-2018 20:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes, when my husband has a day off, I like to bring the TV remote with me to work.
←Rate | 06-09-2018 10:57 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Yes I like to party. And by party I mean take naps.
←Rate | 06-09-2018 05:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon First NHL player's, now NBA players don't want to visit White House.
←Rate | 06-09-2018 00:20 Comments (13)  


   messageicon Say what you will about Trump, he sure is loyal to the country that elected him (Russia).
←Rate | 06-08-2018 23:57 Comments (1)  


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