Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
Page: 3 of 5657

   messageicon If a man puts a vibrator to his ear he’ll hear how he’s not good in bed.
←Rate | 11-20-2017 13:00 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow" sound terrifying.
←Rate | 11-20-2017 12:46 by TallMtnMan Comments (0)  


   messageicon Crustard: The dried mustard on the cap.
←Rate | 11-20-2017 12:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bought a new Christmas Tree today. The shop owner said to me, "Are you going to put that up yourself?", "No" I replied, "I was thinking to put it in the Lounge!"
←Rate | 11-20-2017 05:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m all about unity between the human race and truly believe it’s time we all wake up and realize that we’re all in this together. But when a “artist” wins an award at the VMA’s and thanks God and Justin Bieber in the same breath... It makes
←Rate | 11-19-2017 20:43 by Meh! Comments (0)  


   messageicon Biggest joke of 2017: Blake Shelton named sexiest man alive.
←Rate | 11-19-2017 18:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's better to be kissed by a fool than be fooled by a kiss
←Rate | 11-19-2017 16:53 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know it was a rough night when your IPhone doesn't recognize you in the morning.
←Rate | 11-19-2017 10:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you use the term “butt hurt” a lot, no need for the rainbow sticker. We already know.
←Rate | 11-18-2017 05:19 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Where were these 22 year old female teachers back when I was in high school?
←Rate | 11-17-2017 20:37 by 300 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Breaking news! Colin Kaepernick spotted working at a McDonald’s in Northern California!
←Rate | 11-17-2017 15:07 by DonRafa Comments (2)  


   messageicon A report says Fred Flintstone forced a 16-year-old girl into having sex with him and Barney Rubble......
←Rate | 11-17-2017 14:09 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I liked Meatloaf before he got all soft on us and changed his name to Adele.
←Rate | 11-17-2017 09:32 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Welcome to another episode of Am I Dying or Just Really Tired?
←Rate | 11-17-2017 09:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon And I care about Charles Manson going to the hospital because?
←Rate | 11-17-2017 09:13 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Just finished writing a book for new parents called “You Just Made a Big Mistake.”
←Rate | 11-17-2017 09:13 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I bet you Trump pronounces the country 'Niger' with an extra "g" in the middle.
←Rate | 11-17-2017 07:32 Comments (3)  


   messageicon People don't want the ugly truth, they would prefer a beautiful lie.
←Rate | 11-17-2017 06:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The far right and the far left are both extremes and should be condemned equally.
←Rate | 11-17-2017 05:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing morally bankrupt about homosexuality, Obama said it was okay.
←Rate | 11-17-2017 04:48 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left