Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Today’s hairstyle at Walmart is called, “And I didn’t brush my teeth either.”
←Rate | 02-17-2018 14:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Phycho: All the pieces of my plan to do a mass shooting are in place. Now, if I can just get a gun. AmmoSexual: Say no more. I'll just say you stole it from me.
←Rate | 02-17-2018 12:33 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Did you know that if you light a candle during a full moon and say the name of the person you love three times you will look very stupid doing that.
←Rate | 02-17-2018 09:14 Comments (2)  

   messageicon When a person gets a dui and kills people we blame the person.. when a person blows up a building we blame that person.. when there is a mass shooting we blame the gun lmao
←Rate | 02-17-2018 06:59 Comments (4)  

   messageicon Hello dangerous young man! Come and look at our extensive range of military grade, rapid - fire weapons, that can easily eliminate any normal people that question your anti - social and sadistic tendencies!
←Rate | 02-17-2018 06:06 by Truman Comments (4)  

   messageicon A reminder on one of my dating profiles says "You should be more popular!" I agree.
←Rate | 02-16-2018 22:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The smog is so bad in my city that in the mornig the birds wake me by coughing in stead chirping.
←Rate | 02-16-2018 22:31 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Be the reason someone smiles today
←Rate | 02-16-2018 20:58 by Justathought Comments (0)  

   messageicon Being a human cannibal is the only job where you can be fired evey day and still keep your job :)
←Rate | 02-16-2018 20:54 by Jake Comments (1)  

   messageicon After a night of passion, I told my new girlfriend that she was the frist one I've ever been with. She smiled and said really? I said yea, the other's were sevens and eights. :)
←Rate | 02-16-2018 19:35 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Trump was with this Playboy Bunny, that Playboy Bunny, this Porn Star while he was married, and all about the same time Slick Willy was getting his knob slobbed by Monica in the Ovdl Office. Your point?
←Rate | 02-16-2018 19:16 Comments (2)  

   messageicon Don't forget boys and girls: IF YOU SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING! So the FBI can ignore you and let the shooter go ahead and so his thing.
←Rate | 02-16-2018 18:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The government and a duck have something in common. They both can stick their bills up their (_|_) :)
←Rate | 02-16-2018 18:08 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Another school shooting? Boy, I'm sure glad I didn't go to school with a bunch of white kids....
←Rate | 02-16-2018 16:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Every post since the school shooting: [outrage] [your personal agenda] [hashtag catchy slogan]
←Rate | 02-16-2018 14:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Buys a cheap box of wine and parties like it’s $19.99
←Rate | 02-16-2018 13:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Lets behonest.. Apart from "I love you" and "I miss you" which other jokes do you know? ??
←Rate | 02-16-2018 12:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Another Playboy model has come out, saying she had an affair with Trump, 2 years into his marriage with Melania. Trump, you horny old goat, you!
←Rate | 02-16-2018 12:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon 18 school shootings since Jan. the same generation that eats laundry detergent...and you wanna say we have a gun problem.
←Rate | 02-16-2018 11:12 by Mas Comments (3)  

   messageicon 21) For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here’s a tip: why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness?
←Rate | 02-16-2018 09:02 Comments (0)  

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