ff1241 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Taboo jeopardy is a lot more fun to play. Maybe because I know the answers.
←Rate | 01-16-2011 21:49 by ff1241 Comments (3)  


   messageicon Today I saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. I couldn't help but think, it would work much better on the front.
←Rate | 10-22-2011 14:37 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your on a dating website and didn't post a picture of yourself. It should be mandatory to disclose the amount of teeth you will show up with in you mouth on the first date.
←Rate | 12-01-2010 13:24 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This whole being a responsible adult thing sucks.
←Rate | 05-06-2011 20:30 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon says If two morons fall in love I could care less, but for the love of God please DON'T reproduce and make more of you. There are enough idiots in this world without you making more.
←Rate | 10-22-2010 17:34 by ff1241 Comments (1)  


   messageicon If this were Lord of the Flies, you'd be dead already.
←Rate | 12-01-2010 03:19 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon not sure why any man would be in a polygamist relationship just increases the odds of having a psycho ex wife.
←Rate | 05-08-2011 05:10 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you ever done something so stupid that you blamed it on being drunk when you were totally sober just so you looked like less of a dumb ass.
←Rate | 06-22-2011 21:24 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinking up new and creative ways to kill zombies.
←Rate | 10-17-2010 20:28 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When starting an IV on a patient do NOT refer to the big IV needles as lawn darts.
←Rate | 02-29-2012 21:04 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish people would understand I only sing when I'm drunk and that little shot of wine in church just doesn't cut it.
←Rate | 12-24-2010 04:07 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Snowman hunting is good training for the zombie apocalypse.
←Rate | 01-12-2011 03:12 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently if you have my good looks and go to a nude beach everyone gets jealous and they make you put your clothing back on.
←Rate | 07-03-2011 11:17 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Would like like to thank all the women that lowered their standards and went out with me on a date.
←Rate | 09-06-2011 04:10 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am. Please speak up.
←Rate | 12-01-2010 02:55 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I need to recheck my facebook account to remember what I did this past weekend. 
←Rate | 05-30-2011 16:50 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women + yoga pants = WIN!
←Rate | 04-09-2012 18:42 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just an FYI no one wants to date a b1tch even if your good looking.
←Rate | 08-01-2011 04:01 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We fought wars so we wouldn't care about royal weddings.
←Rate | 04-27-2011 01:30 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So you call yourself an adult but I bet you can't sleep with the closet door open just a little bit because you think someone might be looking at you like the boogieman.
←Rate | 11-11-2011 02:36 by ff1241 Comments (0)  



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