@UncleBSolomon Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'd give five bucks to hear First lady Melania say, "Moose and Squirrel".
←Rate | 11-14-2016 21:41 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing puts me into the #Christmas spirit like #shopping. On Dasher, On Dancer, On Prancer, On VISA.
←Rate | 11-28-2016 21:56 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon ¡¡¡¡ǝʞɐʇsıɯ ʎq pɹɐoqʎǝʞ uɐılɐɹʇsnɐ ɐ ʇɥƃnoq ı dlǝɥ
←Rate | 12-02-2016 20:03 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I" before "e" except after "Old MacDonald had a farm"
←Rate | 01-07-2017 14:43 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dr: So, how did you dislocate your shoulder? Me: I panicked when the blood pressure machine at the store got tigh- I mean football..
←Rate | 02-02-2017 20:05 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Was watching the old Night of the living Dead. I though how awful that would be. All those smoke detectors beeping from low batteries.
←Rate | 07-19-2017 11:38 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter what happens in life, NEVER give up on my dreams. That is why I sleep till noon.
←Rate | 03-09-2018 16:49 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (1)  


   messageicon I am making an omelet out of Cadbury Eggs and jellybeans.
←Rate | 04-02-2018 17:13 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (1)  


   messageicon #marriage Girls are never wrong. Until they are. Then they cry and are, somehow, not wrong again.
←Rate | 11-17-2016 11:35 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've been putting Root Beer in a square glass all evening. I'm still not drunk.
←Rate | 03-23-2017 07:58 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being know as a instigator, I'm gonna add "Being thankful we survived Obama' to the thanksgiving blessing just to get the fun going.
←Rate | 11-20-2016 18:44 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fun Fact: All the toilet paper in the NSA headquarters has the 4th Amendment printed on them.
←Rate | 06-23-2017 20:49 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (3)  


   messageicon Tonight the Mrs and I are having Netflix and Hide from adult responsibilities
←Rate | 07-13-2017 12:20 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wife : Even if you cheated on me, I wouldn't leave you. Me : Really? Wife : Yes. Why would I reward you for cheating?
←Rate | 02-02-2017 20:04 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish we lived in a better world. A world where I can order mozzarella sticks, and not get judged or quetioned when I ask them to put cheese on them
←Rate | 06-07-2017 10:28 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon For all you #single people: Time to start thawing the #Thanksgiving hot dogs
←Rate | 11-23-2016 20:52 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Once you go black, that frost bitten toe's gotta come off
←Rate | 01-07-2017 14:33 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Imagine: Naked in a room full of people who speak a different language & everyone wants to touch you. That is the life of a dog. 🐕
←Rate | 06-17-2017 12:12 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just saw a bumper sticker saying, "My Lab is smarter than your Honor Student" I may not be worldly, but I have never seen an Honor Student jump from an open car window and chase a squirrel through a busy intersection.
←Rate | 11-14-2016 21:36 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon President Trump should act more presidential. Instead of ignoring reporters, he should do what our current president does, and BANS THEM from the press conferences..
←Rate | 01-11-2017 20:00 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


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