Steve OH Funny Status Messages

   Gentleman...... Start Your Livers!!!!

   Electricity off?... Check. Doors and windows unlocked?... Check. Knives, Chainsaws, Machettes sharpened?... Double Check!! HAPPY HALLOWEEN

   Just because you LIKED my awesome status does not mean I have to LIKE the picture of your food...

   great day!!! laundry done, dishes and house cleaned.... who am I kidding? been drinking since 9 am!!!!

   I know it's your Birthday and all but the Starbucks Gift Card thing ain't happening...

   got 6 Fathers Day hugs and all I did was go to Wal-Mart... weird.

   I wish we could "Hand Pick" who gets knocked off line on Monday!!!

   Seriously! Just watched a deer look both ways before crossing a road. Isolated incident or beginning of a much welcomed change in behavior?

   WARNING: Ask your doctor if updating your status as often as I do is right for you...

   ... Dude, turn it down before your windows fall out.

   Hung like Einstein smart as a horse... Thanks dad.

   When updating your status, always proof-read carefully to see if you any words out...

   You're never too old to learn stupid siht...

   FYI - Double check whats in the cup on the nightstand before waking up and taking a big drink.... Nothing like watered down crown and coke first thing in the morning...

   If I'm ever in a coma, please don't try to wake me. I'm doing what I love.

   Honestly, I've never seen anyone fall because of a banana peel.

   So... Stub Hub isn't a dating site for quadriplegics? Mind blown!

   Self Control is not smacking 2 girls arguing over which filter to use before Instagraming a pic of their Pumpkin Spice Latte.

   if you're ever attacked by a bunch of clowns... Go for the Juggler!!!

   The only alcohol problem I have is i'm running low on vodka