Psycho Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon *Taps life on shoulder* What's your fcukin problem with me?
←Rate | 04-07-2015 15:02 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looking for originality her e is like looking for a virgin in a wh0rehouse.
←Rate | 11-05-2015 00:38 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon The number of special requests in your order is directly proportionate to how many times the cook drags his balls across your plate. Enjoy!
←Rate | 11-13-2015 00:10 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think we should hear other voices.
←Rate | 01-10-2016 10:42 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon I heard Oscar Pistorius wanted a new bathroom door but his girlfriend was dead against it.
←Rate | 06-16-2016 08:12 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I have a tough decision, I ask myself... "What would Jesus do?" Then, I remember how things turned out for him... And, flip a coin.
←Rate | 06-20-2014 00:31 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon when I orgasm I think it makes others on the bus a little nervous.
←Rate | 12-02-2014 01:30 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think my new Stress Management plan is going to be alcoholism.
←Rate | 11-10-2017 00:22 by psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon A serial killer, that only targets couples in matching outfits.
←Rate | 10-19-2015 14:12 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon As a kid you could get excited by small stuff: findin a body, pokin it with a stick. Now you gotta poke 10 bodies with 12 sticks just to feel anythin.
←Rate | 09-30-2014 13:15 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I stalked you any harder you'd be a missing person by now.
←Rate | 12-17-2014 11:31 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon [breaks apart couple holding hands] You're free now
←Rate | 12-19-2014 04:15 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it wasn't for my excitement to hate someone new I wouldn't leave my bed in the morning.
←Rate | 04-24-2015 02:31 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't make you love me, but I can hold your head underwater until you stop breathing.
←Rate | 05-13-2017 11:57 by psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon My gf always takes a "long bath" after a Ryan Gosling movie. I don't get it, but it does give me plenty of time to beat off to Ryan Gosling.
←Rate | 07-04-2014 13:23 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon I could probably be on time if it wasn't for red lights...and masturbation.
←Rate | 06-21-2017 15:34 by psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon a wheelchair is just grocery cart to a cannibal
←Rate | 11-16-2015 12:15 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon We can put a man on the moon but we can't put a cat in the dishwasher
←Rate | 09-30-2014 13:28 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its safe to visit my FB page friends. That smell is now gone.
←Rate | 04-04-2015 01:14 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon A cop pulled me over this morning but let me go. Maybe these man boobs aren't all bad after all!
←Rate | 02-10-2015 15:48 by Psycho Comments (0)  



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