Mick F Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon My dog ate a whole bottle of Tums. I freaked! I called the Vet and asked him what I should do. He said to take him out for Mexican.
←Rate | 09-17-2011 17:33 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who's the most popular guy at the nudist camp? The one carrying two cups of coffee and a dozen donuts.
←Rate | 09-27-2011 12:14 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's with all those sub categories in facebook's relationship status option? For example...what's a Domestic Partnership? She vacuums while he dusts?
←Rate | 09-26-2011 08:05 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm an angel. Honest. The horns are just there to keep the halo straight.
←Rate | 09-28-2011 09:09 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love the holidays. A time when people are supposed to be more nice and caring, actually become bigger a$$holes than they are the rest of the year.
←Rate | 12-16-2011 06:54 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon The biggest trick life plays on us, is the inability to fully appreciate something until it's gone. Except for broccoli.
←Rate | 12-16-2011 06:49 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someday, I hope to disappoint a burglar with my one and only possession. A kitchen drawer filled with Taco Bell sauce packets.
←Rate | 09-16-2011 08:55 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon The DC Earthquake was caused by direct reverberations from the opposite side of the Earth. It's from China jumping up and down in anger when they realized they're not gonna get their money back.
←Rate | 08-23-2011 19:08 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Twelve Jurors In The Casey Anthony Trial. Names Released! Homer Simpson, Moe Howard, Larry Fine, Curly Howard, Kelly Bundy, Eric Cartman Joey Tribbiani, Beavis, Butthead, Edith Bunker, SpongeBob SquarePants, The Coyote.
←Rate | 07-07-2011 16:51 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon If ‘ifs' and ‘buts' were candy and nuts, we'd all have a merry Christmas.
←Rate | 10-22-2011 06:30 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wow, it's beautiful outside. I should probably do something. Like close the blinds so there isn't a glare on my screen.
←Rate | 10-23-2011 07:18 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pringles. A real chip wasn't good enough. So they smash a potato, add chemicals, add liquid, turn it into a paste, then put it in a mold where it is artificially made to resemble a real chip, but with no flavor. Then put 'em in a tennis ball can
←Rate | 09-21-2011 07:27 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I keep playing my Highway to Hell cd over and over. I think I have OCDC.
←Rate | 09-17-2011 15:48 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trying to get someone to agree with your political or religious viewpoint, is as futile as trying to convince a mother that her baby isn't the cutest thing ever.
←Rate | 09-19-2011 06:21 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon There should be three options for facebook posts. "Like", "Dislike", and "Yep, I'm In The 95 Percentile That Doesn't Get It".
←Rate | 10-20-2011 07:56 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid, I didn't think humans could move their feet like Fred Flintstone. That is until that time the Ice Cream truck passed my house without stopping.
←Rate | 10-30-2011 07:33 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon That Sinking Feeling: Facebook has worked very hard at making its new Timeline Profiles look like MySpace.
←Rate | 12-31-2011 15:55 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I try to let women think I'm mysterious and not hard up....that's why I wait a good 45 seconds before I Poke someone back on facebook.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 12:33 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon My optic nerve crossed with my a$$hole, and gave me a sh*tty outlook on life.
←Rate | 10-05-2011 13:16 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I told some guy his fly was open. He asked me if I noticed a soldier standing at attention. I said. "No, I saw a disabled veteran sitting on two duffel bags."
←Rate | 09-17-2011 16:35 by Mick F Comments (0)  



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