Mick Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I need to lose weight. Baskin-Robbins just called my mom and told her because of me they're down to only 5 flavors.
←Rate | 03-21-2017 11:40 by Mick Comments (0)  


   messageicon How we'll truly know when the economy has rebounded: When Reggae bands go back to hiring guys whose only job it is to dance.
←Rate | 03-31-2017 07:11 by Mick Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Baby Whirlpool Bathtub "With a calming whirlpool and massaging bubbles, your infant will enjoy a luxurious spa experience at home!" (Hey, you never know when a 5 month old may need to unwind.)
←Rate | 04-03-2017 11:43 by Mick Comments (0)  


   messageicon Checklist: Poke People ✔ Delete People ✔ Block People ✔ Send Friend Requests ✔ Accept Friend Requests ✔ Ignore Chats ✔ Make Stupid Photoshop Pics With My Face ✔....Morning chores all done.
←Rate | 02-26-2014 11:56 by Mick Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some woman just sent this to me: XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO' I was confused by the apostrophe, but then it dawned on me. It must mean she's possessive.
←Rate | 02-24-2014 20:32 by Mick Comments (0)  


   messageicon To me, the Poke feature is a litmus test to weed out the easy going girls from the uptight Medusa types.
←Rate | 03-18-2014 06:27 by Mick Comments (0)  


   messageicon When it comes to acronyms, I believe that DILLIGAF is right "up there" with NASA.
←Rate | 03-22-2017 18:02 by Mick Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the temperature is 94°, yet it feels like 106°, then as far as I'm concerned, it's 106°...which explains my breaking all speed records in getting this ice cream home before it melts.
←Rate | 05-09-2014 08:20 by Mick Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pizza Guy: "Louie's Pizza. May I take your order? Me: "Is the owl there?" Pizza Guy: "Who, who?" Me: "Lol, that never gets old. Gimme a large all the way."
←Rate | 07-06-2017 15:35 by Mick Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, you're the syrup atop my waffles, the sizzle on my bacon and the cream in my coffee. What I'm saying is ur killing me.
←Rate | 03-14-2017 06:39 by Mick Comments (0)  


   messageicon A woman who was shopping at my store today called me a "Living Doll"..okay she actually called me Chucky, but.....
←Rate | 03-10-2014 21:19 by Mick Comments (0)  


   messageicon Twisted Personal Ads: SWM seeking SWF. Age, ethnicity and religion not important. Nymphomaniacal tendencies and chronic laryngitis are a plus. Please reply to Box OU692
←Rate | 03-27-2017 10:46 by Mick Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I don't lose some weight, I'm gonna get one of those lap band things. Not the surgery. I mean I'll be able to fit The Stones on my lap.
←Rate | 04-10-2017 11:45 by Mick Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm at work. So if I don't answer you on fb chat, it means I'm not that busy but I've got a great excuse to not respond.
←Rate | 03-13-2014 10:10 by Mick Comments (0)  


   messageicon I may be crazy, but I'm not, "Of course I'd lease an office in the new One World Trade Center" crazy.
←Rate | 03-05-2017 12:39 by Mick Comments (0)  


   messageicon The jury was carefully selected based on their beliefs. Primarily, the ir belief that the Sun circles the Earth, and the preferred method of courtship is to bonk a woman over the head with a club then drag her into a cave.
←Rate | 07-06-2011 09:29 by Mick Comments (0)  


   messageicon Q. What's the difference between a Canadian and a canoe? A. The canoe will eventually tip.
←Rate | 03-16-2017 03:09 by Mick Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't care what friend facebook suggests. I'm not poking McDonald's.
←Rate | 02-25-2014 13:36 by Mick Comments (0)  


   messageicon PETA is after me. I made Tuna Fish Soft Tacos. I used Dolphin-Safe Tuna, but All-Porpoise flour. THAT'S FUNNY...SHADDAP!
←Rate | 04-02-2014 05:36 by Mick Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't give me this, "Just because I accepted your friend request, it doesn't mean I'm going to sleep with you" stuff. If I had wanted to sleep with you, it would've happened already.
←Rate | 04-02-2017 11:50 by Mick Comments (0)  



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