KISSTOPHER Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Doctor told me I only have 6 months to live, maybe 12 if I get enough likes on Facebook.
←Rate | 03-20-2013 14:23 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon My poker face is when I'm standing in the express lane with 16 items.
←Rate | 10-03-2012 10:14 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't be Jealous of Me... If you had to walk a mile in my shoes you'd probably need year of therapy.
←Rate | 05-07-2011 03:02 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men resolve a fight with a fist fight. Women resolve a fight with years of backstabbing, name calling, rumor spreading & social exclusion.
←Rate | 10-19-2012 09:07 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know, Microsoft, if you had called it Bang instead of Bing, you'd have destroyed Google. Example: I just Banged Catherine Zeta Jones.
←Rate | 01-24-2013 13:51 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon RANDOM FACT: Having eye contact for more than 6 seconds without looking away or blinking reveals a desire for either sex or murder.
←Rate | 03-12-2012 14:41 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Lord; If my happiness bothers some people, please give them their own happiness so they wont bother hating on mine.
←Rate | 05-02-2012 14:26 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid I thought room service was for rich people. Now I realize it's for lazy, hungover people who can't find their pants.
←Rate | 05-14-2012 15:33 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I fake dumbness just to see how far people will go with their lies.
←Rate | 08-02-2011 02:35 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know we're in a recession when they start making game shows where the winner gets a job.
←Rate | 02-05-2013 08:40 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon RECYCLING RULE 101: if no one saw what clothes you were wearing today, its totally fine to wear them again tomorrow.
←Rate | 04-15-2013 14:11 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just because someone smiles a lot doesn't mean they're nice or they like you. Take alligators for example.
←Rate | 03-07-2013 13:38 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Bros before hoes" sounds like something a bro without a hoe would say.
←Rate | 04-15-2012 16:19 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be the girl that all the guys want. Not the girl all the guys HAD.
←Rate | 08-22-2011 13:59 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from taking a nap.
←Rate | 12-23-2012 03:56 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never trust a woman who doesn't b*tch about everything.
←Rate | 05-09-2013 13:09 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just watched a girl choke on her food and this can only mean one thing, she forgot to take a picture of it first and post it on her FB wall.
←Rate | 12-21-2012 08:30 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are two types of people I hate in this world: Nosey people AND people who won't tell me what the hell is going on in their lives.
←Rate | 09-05-2011 03:19 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every day is a struggle to come to terms with the fact that they chose Tobey Maguire to play Spiderman.
←Rate | 10-06-2012 11:19 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just dropped my phone, is everyone okay?!
←Rate | 10-20-2012 15:33 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  




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