Joser Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If I died and went straight to hell, it would take me at least a week to realize I wasn't at work anymore
←Rate | 04-15-2010 23:26 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon there are more important things in life than money. The trouble is, they all cost money.
←Rate | 07-07-2010 17:51 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon After doing some research, It turns out that not EVERYBODY was kung-fu fighting. It was just this one guy
←Rate | 05-17-2010 09:51 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best part of being me is that I'm not you...
←Rate | 04-15-2010 23:16 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you put 'aspiring' in front of your chosen profession. What I hear is: I'm unemployed.
←Rate | 04-25-2010 13:22 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon With great power comes a great electric bill...
←Rate | 05-25-2010 18:25 by Joser Comments (2)  


   messageicon Ed Hardy makes condoms now? Fine by me. I think we can all agree that anybody who buys one probably shouldn't breed.
←Rate | 05-26-2010 14:23 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just discovered my oven CAN CLEAN ITSELF! Naturally I will be searching my apartment looking for similar buttons.
←Rate | 07-13-2010 18:14 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon My bank is the worst. They're charging me money for not having enough money in my account. Apparently, I can't even afford to be broke.
←Rate | 05-24-2010 11:06 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Prius just tried to race me from a stop sign. I totally had it for the first 100 feet, but I can only walk so fast.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 18:56 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm pretty sure "No strings attached" is guy code for "I'm emotionally retarded, but your vagina sounds neat!"
←Rate | 07-12-2010 16:57 by Joser Comments (3)  


   messageicon I think video games ruined my life. Good thing I have two extra lives...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 19:48 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does "I caught myself singing a Justin Beiber song" go at the beginning or the end of a suicide note?
←Rate | 04-29-2010 23:09 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's a shame how so many of you have such nice, expensive, in many cases even brand new cars and yet the turn signals don't seem to work.
←Rate | 05-11-2010 17:36 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I go to your place for the first time, unless you live in a castle, please dont ask me if I want a tour.
←Rate | 06-23-2010 18:20 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon After months of uninterrupted analysis, I am now prepared to conclude that, indeed, my laundry is not going to fold itself.
←Rate | 06-28-2010 21:20 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think sharks eat people just to get on tv.
←Rate | 07-13-2010 18:08 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's so adorable when my Mom calls and asks me for my "email number."
←Rate | 06-26-2010 14:30 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone with a pool want to be my new best friend?
←Rate | 07-03-2010 14:39 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doctors write the prescriptions illegibly so you can't see that it says: "This one had insurance. Don't kill him."
←Rate | 06-11-2010 18:09 by Joser Comments (0)  



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