JBabcock Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon 3 Things Every New Nurse should know: 1) never get "eye level' to measure a sore on someone's bottom. 2) Yawning during tracheotomy care is BAD 3) Always smell an Apple Juice in the Nurses fridge before drinking or serving.
←Rate | 08-15-2011 15:02 by Jbabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm amazed at the amount of money every girl I know spends on clothing when when all of them in fact look better without any.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 08:07 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon 5 Jobs Westboro Baptist Haters can do instead of protesting Military Funerals: 5) UFC grappling dummies 4) Product testers 4 Fleet's Enema Co. 3) Fear Factor game taste testers 2)Pridefest Clean Up Crew 1) HumanShields 4 R Troops since IEDs R from God.
←Rate | 08-19-2011 22:41 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why does anyone want to go to Hell in a handbasket? Everyone whose ever been to the Supermarket knows that using a Shopping Cart would be so much better.
←Rate | 09-09-2011 15:27 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon WESTBORO BAPTIST'S: Military Funeral Protesters who'll one day bring their glowing personalities and heartwarming words to the Nether-Regions they'll share with other sincere folks like Hitler, Dahmer, Gacy, and Jack the Ripper.
←Rate | 09-10-2011 05:43 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Have you ever looked at someone and realized "WTF" is always what immediately comes to mind?
←Rate | 09-24-2011 08:08 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Every day as the years go by I find myself missing a special certain someone from my past. Lucky for me my aim is improving.
←Rate | 08-20-2011 08:26 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Summer Vacation begins to spiral downward when your Dad says "Let's go this way. I know a shortcut."
←Rate | 08-15-2011 17:31 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon There's a fine line between mandatory overtime shifts and a hostage situation.
←Rate | 09-24-2011 08:28 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Roger Ebert called. He's giving your online performance of "The Worlds Biggest A$$hole" two enthusiastic thumbs up. Way up.
←Rate | 09-10-2011 04:56 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Games Nursing Staff HATE playing on at a Nursing Home: 5) Ollie, Ollie Ijustpeed 4) Guess what's on My Shoe 3) Here we go Loopty Poo 2)Red Light, Green Light: A Game of Incontinence Care 1) Follow the Leaker
←Rate | 08-17-2011 16:25 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon When work gets monotonous I go for a long sit down potty Break. Then I can honestly say to my boss "Hey! I'm one of the few people who actually gives a sh*t around here!"
←Rate | 08-22-2011 16:14 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm tired of wasting time on people who won't waste any time on me.
←Rate | 09-11-2011 00:52 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon In grade school I dreamed of having a supersized tree house and a flyable jetpack. now that I'm grown up all I want is 2 dancing Hamsters from the Kia Soul Commercial.
←Rate | 09-17-2011 16:48 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon People tell me that opportunity is just around the corner don't realize I'm walking in circles in this terrible job market.
←Rate | 09-12-2011 07:09 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hate how Facebook always ask "What's on your mind?" like I'm actually going to share tickets to this crazy train with all of my friends.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 07:49 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon All my job prospects sounded a lot more exciting when I was seven.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 07:44 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon "This is your status update.sƃnɹp uo ǝʇɐpdn snʇɐʇs ɹnoʎ sı sıɥʇ. Any questions?"- Nancy Reagan
←Rate | 09-13-2011 11:33 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hate Fridays that aren't payday. Sometimes this day makes me wish I had a Viking Helm so I could walk into the payroll office and yell "It's MY money and I need it nooooow!!!"
←Rate | 09-13-2011 13:48 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whoever said "Good things come to those who wait" has never stood in my long a$$ line.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 08:24 by JBabcock Comments (0)  

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