Gman Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon We had social networking when we were kids too... I think it was called "outside" back then though.
←Rate | 04-14-2011 23:41 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon If they weren't meant to be used to get attention, God would've put boobs in a different place.
←Rate | 04-22-2011 21:21 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you've made wonderful choices in life when you're proud of yourself for not being drunk before lunch.
←Rate | 04-20-2011 11:53 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some women are born to greatness, some have it thrust into them.
←Rate | 04-14-2011 10:18 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Netherlands have 800 miles of massive dikes? That's one hell of a parade.
←Rate | 04-12-2011 20:34 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gatorade's motto is "Is it in you?" ... Coincidentally, that was also MY motto the first several times I tried to have sex
←Rate | 04-15-2011 22:19 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Dentist says I need to be more aggressive when flossing, so I'm going to start barking.
←Rate | 04-12-2011 09:45 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sarah Palin wants to trade Mark her name. What the hell's Mark gonna do with it??
←Rate | 04-15-2011 22:26 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon The early worm gets the bird. ┌∩┐(◕_◕)┌∩┐
←Rate | 04-12-2011 20:38 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon If her ass had a red "you are here" dot on it, I'd never get lost in thought.
←Rate | 04-12-2011 12:35 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the bank wanted the security picture on the front of my debit card to be accurate for my account, they would've let me frown.
←Rate | 04-22-2011 21:25 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon I read someone gets divorced every 10 to 13 seconds. I'm not one to judge people, but that guy gets married wayyy too much.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 14:13 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon The hot lady across the street had a seizure on her front lawn today. Her MILF shakes brought the paramedics to the yard.
←Rate | 04-16-2011 15:56 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon What prescription was Peter on that caused cotton tail? I've had cotton mouth, but can't even imagine having a parched behind. Poor Peter.
←Rate | 04-22-2011 21:27 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon eating bacon with Mohammed.
←Rate | 07-03-2011 14:50 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't believe UPS stole the "What can brown do for you?" slogan from Ex-Lax. Ain't that some sh*t?
←Rate | 04-22-2011 16:24 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon After marriage, sloppy seconds means not licking the cake batter spoon first.
←Rate | 04-15-2011 22:04 by Gman Comments (0)  


   messageicon It would have been a more believable story if Jesus had died on a Monday and then rose again on a Saturday, just like I do every week.
←Rate | 04-22-2011 21:22 by Gman Comments (0)  


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