Gil Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Rosie O'Donnell fired again from a talk-show, for the 4th time. Time to quit attempts at being so serious and go back to fat lesbian stand-up comedy.
←Rate | 03-19-2012 14:56 by GIL Comments (0)  


   messageicon On January 25th 2006, Al Gore proclaimed we only had 10 years left to save the planet. Get ready for the end of the world in 23 days. Al Gore said it. It must be true.
←Rate | 01-03-2016 21:44 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bought a race horse and named it "my face" just so I can hear women shouting "come on my face!"
←Rate | 04-13-2011 11:20 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Breaking News: Barack Obama to deliver his re-election victory speech tomorrow....
←Rate | 05-02-2011 00:17 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think facebook was originally invented by pharmaceutical companies as a way to create 50 million new insomniacs overnight and boost Ambien sales. Zuckerberg just took all the credit.
←Rate | 07-29-2013 10:06 by gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon I find it ironic that no one is asking Al Gore to run again, except maybe his cardiologist.
←Rate | 07-14-2014 18:33 by gil Comments (1)  


   messageicon Do you think it's OK to cross out the word LOVE on a Valentines card and replace it with "WANNA F&@K"?
←Rate | 02-11-2011 12:12 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon How did Mexico keep enough people from crossing the border to field a full soccer team?
←Rate | 06-17-2014 15:45 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to rename my iPhone "virginity", so I can run up and down halls screaming "I lost my virginity!!" several times a year.
←Rate | 03-23-2011 20:37 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't cops have something better to do than arrest non-violent casual Marijuana smokers?
←Rate | 04-24-2011 00:20 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Demonstrators storm the US embassy in Yemen. Didn't Samuel L. Jackson already make a movie about this?
←Rate | 09-13-2012 07:06 by gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Q: What's long and hard that a girl marrying a Polish guy gets on her wedding night?....... A: his last name.
←Rate | 09-15-2013 18:43 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don’t like something change it... if you can’t change it....post it on facebook, so I can "like it" and laugh
←Rate | 06-04-2013 21:26 by gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Somewhere in Kenya, a village is missing it's idiot
←Rate | 08-30-2012 21:40 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wishes the protestors would occupy Iran, North Korea, & Syria, instead of Wall street
←Rate | 10-12-2011 16:55 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon To show my support for all the democracy protesters in the Middle East, I am shaving my balls today(They were getting hairy and I needed an excuse)
←Rate | 05-11-2011 18:16 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today I wish a Happy Easter to my Greek Orthodox and Russian friends. Your ancestors really sucked at reading the calendar.
←Rate | 05-04-2013 16:26 by gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy pagan fertility goddess and spring solstice worship holiday everyone!!
←Rate | 04-08-2012 14:26 by gil Comments (1)  


   messageicon This year's national billiards tournament in Vegas was cancelled. Charlie Sheen bought up all the eight-balls.
←Rate | 03-03-2011 11:48 by Gil Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear English Majors: How did the word "Dingleberry" get it's name?
←Rate | 12-11-2012 23:15 by Gil Comments (0)  



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