Abraham Lincoln Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Never in my life have I ever seen someone so excited to take a sh!t!----Those Bears in the Charmin commercial
←Rate | 07-25-2012 07:50 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon How is ''Doable'' anything but a compliment!!!
←Rate | 06-26-2012 12:25 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon How about instead of flirting and carrying on a conversation under my status that has nothing to do with it's original topic, you try using the chat window, the poke button, or maybe even do it the old fashioned way! Call the B!tch!!!
←Rate | 07-05-2012 06:35 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm always on my ''Best'' Behaviour...It just so happens my Best Behaviour isn't very good!!
←Rate | 07-27-2012 11:07 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon ''Hey, How was your Blind date?'' ''Terrible! He showed up in a 1932 Rolls Royce!''......''What's so terrible about that?''.....''He was the original owner!!!''
←Rate | 07-06-2012 08:25 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage.........when dating goes way too far!
←Rate | 07-23-2012 07:07 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon California announced that Marijuana Dispensaries will be closing! Do they realize the dramatic impact this will have on the economy. Sales of Funyons, 7-11 Burritos, Visine, and all other junk food are going to plummet!!!
←Rate | 07-26-2012 06:39 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon To the jerk that has been stealing everyone's lunch from the company refridgerator, I sprinkled just the right amout of marijuana and cocaine on that sandwhich of mine you just ate, to fail that suprise drug test that is coming tomorrow! Karma Baby!!!
←Rate | 06-28-2012 11:01 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have one nerve left! And you're dry humping it!....Go Away!!!
←Rate | 07-17-2012 11:30 by Abraham lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hope Adele and Eminem never date, can you imagine what their breakup albums would be like!
←Rate | 08-01-2012 01:38 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can't have a Consumer-based economy if none of the consumers have jobs and can't afford to consume!!!
←Rate | 06-26-2012 08:03 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had a girlfriend that said she was leaving me because I was so arrogant! I told her to close the door on her way back in!!!
←Rate | 06-26-2012 09:39 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was thinking of you today! I also threw up in my mouth a little, but it just might be a coincidence!!!
←Rate | 07-15-2012 09:14 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women sex toys cost money for Batteries! Men's sex toys cost money for rent, clothes, groceries.......
←Rate | 07-25-2012 08:05 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've been Nominted for Facebooks New Award, Most Funny/Best Posts in 2012!.......In other news I lost my job, my wife, car, and all contact with the outside World!!!
←Rate | 08-03-2012 00:56 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mic Jagger'snew book says he slept with 4,000 women!..........Well 3,999 if you subtract David Bowie!!!
←Rate | 07-13-2012 11:20 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon A North Korean man announce yesterday that his Dog gave birth to a 1/2 Dog 1/2 Cat offspring! Also referred to in Korea as the #2 ''Combo''!!!
←Rate | 07-25-2012 07:24 by Abraham lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon There isn't enough make-up in the world to cover-up crazy!!!
←Rate | 07-12-2012 09:49 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know what all this fuss is about Same Sex Marriage! Me and my wife have been having the same sex for 21yrs! It's boring but it isn't worth getting all upset over!!!
←Rate | 07-17-2012 22:07 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning but the Hampster was dead?!!!
←Rate | 07-16-2012 08:08 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (2)  


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