@UncleBSolomon Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Was watching the old Night of the living Dead. I though how awful that would be. All those smoke detectors beeping from low batteries.
←Rate | 07-19-2017 11:38 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  

   messageicon #marriage Girls are never wrong. Until they are. Then they cry and are, somehow, not wrong again.
←Rate | 11-17-2016 11:35 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I've been putting Root Beer in a square glass all evening. I'm still not drunk.
←Rate | 03-23-2017 07:58 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Being know as a instigator, I'm gonna add "Being thankful we survived Obama' to the thanksgiving blessing just to get the fun going.
←Rate | 11-20-2016 18:44 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Fun Fact: All the toilet paper in the NSA headquarters has the 4th Amendment printed on them.
←Rate | 06-23-2017 20:49 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (3)  

   messageicon Tonight the Mrs and I are having Netflix and Hide from adult responsibilities
←Rate | 07-13-2017 12:20 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Wife : Even if you cheated on me, I wouldn't leave you. Me : Really? Wife : Yes. Why would I reward you for cheating?
←Rate | 02-02-2017 20:04 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wish we lived in a better world. A world where I can order mozzarella sticks, and not get judged or quetioned when I ask them to put cheese on them
←Rate | 06-07-2017 10:28 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  

   messageicon For all you #single people: Time to start thawing the #Thanksgiving hot dogs
←Rate | 11-23-2016 20:52 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Once you go black, that frost bitten toe's gotta come off
←Rate | 01-07-2017 14:33 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Imagine: Naked in a room full of people who speak a different language & everyone wants to touch you. That is the life of a dog. 🐕
←Rate | 06-17-2017 12:12 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just saw a bumper sticker saying, "My Lab is smarter than your Honor Student" I may not be worldly, but I have never seen an Honor Student jump from an open car window and chase a squirrel through a busy intersection.
←Rate | 11-14-2016 21:36 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  

   messageicon President Trump should act more presidential. Instead of ignoring reporters, he should do what our current president does, and BANS THEM from the press conferences..
←Rate | 01-11-2017 20:00 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  

   messageicon (Search History] 1. Do raccoons like to cuddle? 2. What does rabies smell like? 3. I can't feel my face.
←Rate | 02-22-2017 11:17 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm boycotting beauty & the beast because of a teenage girl falling in love with a buffalo 💡
←Rate | 03-07-2017 08:12 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Before I go out binge drinking I always eat a stick of butter. It doesn't do anything I just make really poor life choices.
←Rate | 03-29-2017 01:55 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  

   messageicon My brother came out of the closet yesterday. He's not gay. He has Alzheimer's and thought it was the car.
←Rate | 11-03-2017 21:16 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (1)  

   messageicon Her: Make your own snack. Me: It says: Not to operate heavy machinery while using this medication. Her: It's an oven not a forklift.
←Rate | 02-13-2017 16:44 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Mrs is visiting her mother this weekend, so the dog and I are smoking cigars and playing poker. In our underware!!!!!
←Rate | 08-07-2017 09:48 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (1)  

   messageicon One good thing about this winter snow storm, is it makes my lawn look as good as my neighbors.
←Rate | 01-03-2018 14:12 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  

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