@UXBRIDGEGUY Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon When I see ad's on Tv with smiling happy housewives using a new cleaning product ,the only thing I want to go out and buy are the Meds they must be on.
←Rate | 10-30-2014 09:53 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance… The five stages of waking up.
←Rate | 08-15-2014 13:25 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know, hunting elephants.'
←Rate | 07-25-2013 10:22 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Suggestion for Mark Zuckerberg: When someone defriends me on Facebook, a picture of my bare butt pops up on their screen
←Rate | 08-03-2014 19:09 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I refused to believe that my road worker father was stealing from his job but when I got home all the signs were there.
←Rate | 01-15-2015 13:20 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Beauty comes in all shapes & sizes. Small,large,circle,square,thin crust, thick crust,stuffed crust,extra toppings.
←Rate | 07-28-2014 12:43 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon This new dishwasher is useless .. It's already ruined three of my paper plates...
←Rate | 08-16-2013 04:37 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Give me a gun and I can rob a bank. Give me a bank and I can rob the world
←Rate | 07-25-2013 10:10 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm very good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.
←Rate | 01-15-2015 13:20 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kids have so many food allergies these days. In 15 years you’ll be able to rob a bank with a bag of peanuts
←Rate | 12-03-2014 03:38 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the duvet is still on the bed your clearly not doing it right
←Rate | 05-14-2014 04:34 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon However lonely you feel, you’re never alone… There are literally millions of bugs, mites, and bacteria living in your house.
←Rate | 08-05-2014 03:35 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon “you look tired” is the politically correct way of saying “you look like crap”
←Rate | 08-06-2014 10:37 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you say you can’t cook what you're really saying is that you can’t read and follow directions.
←Rate | 10-27-2014 13:57 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon My first after school job was sweeping up hair.... I don't know how that kebab shop stayed Open
←Rate | 12-09-2014 03:29 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wearing a T-Shirt with "Let's talk about God" on it always guarantees me a seat to myself on the train.
←Rate | 09-11-2013 09:53 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon How I feel when you complain about your boyfriend to me is how Yahoo feels when people use them to search for Google’s homepage.
←Rate | 08-03-2014 19:12 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Inspirational thought: One day you will die, but every other day you won’t. So that’s pretty great, right?
←Rate | 08-10-2014 17:55 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people wait their entire life for their ship to come in..not realizing that they are standing in an airport...
←Rate | 08-07-2013 02:36 by @UXBRIDGEGUY Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Commercials led me to believe that changing shampoos would have a much bigger effect on my life."
←Rate | 08-15-2014 13:26 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  




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