Flinnie Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'm chivalrous. I always hold the door open for a woman so I can get a better look at her butt.
←Rate | 05-15-2012 09:36 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet vegetarians don't even feel guilty eating baby carrots
←Rate | 06-29-2012 06:28 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet a tough part of fielding calls at a poison control center is not finishing most of your sentences with "...you unbelievable moron."
←Rate | 01-29-2014 22:33 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I pretended to work all day while dreaming about big boobs
←Rate | 10-23-2011 19:57 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you get angry start counting to ten. When you get to eight, throw a punch. Nobody expects that.
←Rate | 04-27-2012 05:56 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alarm clocks should come with sounds like "tiny doll feet scampering into the closet" because NO ONE IS HITTING SNOOZE WHEN THEY HEAR THAT
←Rate | 03-15-2014 06:35 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The worst part about getting a monogrammed sweater for Christmas is having to find someone with your initials to regift the thing to
←Rate | 12-23-2011 09:02 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Prince and Sheena Easton never did tell us who won the World Series of love.
←Rate | 02-18-2012 06:22 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon We can only heal as a nation, once we acknowledge that Morris Day and the Time were robbed in the battle of the bands in Purple Rain.
←Rate | 05-24-2012 09:54 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't tell secrets near a grape vine.
←Rate | 09-11-2012 06:27 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Auditioning for Animal Planet's new series, "I Shouldn't Be Awake."
←Rate | 10-15-2012 06:17 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon We get it, London, you're better at rioting than Vancouver, you can stop now.
←Rate | 08-11-2011 01:55 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I was as dedicated to anything as much as I am to using movie lines in everyday conversation
←Rate | 06-16-2011 05:52 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My father taught me a lot of things, however, the most important thing he taught me was how to be a great dad. A close second is how to have a conversation with someone for a half an hour even though you can't remember their name or anything else
←Rate | 06-19-2011 06:04 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When we set our clocks back, will that effect "Hammer Time"?
←Rate | 09-26-2011 10:19 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Florida, you just want attention don't you? Casey Anthony, Tim Tebow, the election of 2000. Its always about you, isn't it?
←Rate | 07-06-2011 13:26 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just once in my life I want to kick someone out of my office by saying "I said good day sir!" I suppose I'd need an office first.
←Rate | 08-04-2011 03:54 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon People on morning radio shows find everything so much funnier than I do.
←Rate | 08-20-2011 06:14 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The side effects of the medicine I'm on include nausea, nausea, nausea, nausea, nausea, repeating things four times & difficulty adding.
←Rate | 04-18-2012 09:02 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need a volunteer to make sure when I die, my obituary reads: he laid down that boogie and played that funky music til he died.
←Rate | 02-08-2013 06:24 by flinnie Comments (0)  




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