Funny Status Messages Search

X You complete me. Which makes me a complete idiot.

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-05-2010 15:43 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X In life, it seems the group of people who are easily offended and the group of people who are easily confused tend to be the same group.

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-05-2010 15:47 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X A police recruit was asked during exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest ur own wife?" He said, "Call for backup."

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-05-2010 15:52 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5. Sincerely, Unicorns.

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-05-2010 15:58 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X If you only have one photo on you're Facebook you are either a spammer, or a loser, either way don't request me as a friend.

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-06-2010 10:03 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X Cookie Monster: People ask me what me favorite kind of cookie, but me no can choose! Me equal opportunity eater.

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-06-2010 10:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were: Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-06-2010 10:08 by Marshall the Great Comments (2)

X A woman walked into the pharmacy and asked for some batteries. The pharmacist gestured with his index finger and said,"Come this way." The woman replied, "If I could come that way, I wouldn't need the batteries!"

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-06-2010 10:11 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X In life, it seems the group of people who are easily offended and the group of people who are easily confused tend to be the same group.

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-06-2010 12:22 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X I am watching The Social Network this weekend for one reason. I wanna know which Harvard asshole was behind this whole POKING idea.

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-07-2010 19:28 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X You never know who your real friends are until you are in need and then you'll be surprised who shows up.

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-07-2010 19:36 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X It takes a special kind of crazy to marry a divorce lawyer.

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-07-2010 19:38 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X Most of the fun things I've done have never been smart ideas.

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-07-2010 19:40 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X Facebook: Lying to people you know. Twitter: Be honest to people you don't know.

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-07-2010 19:43 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X You can't please everyone, so you might as well just concentrate on me.

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-07-2010 19:44 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X I saw a woman with a Breast Cancer Awareness t-shirt that said "Yes they're fake, My real ones tried to kill me!"

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-07-2010 19:48 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X Who thought it was a good idea to make commercials 5 minutes longer than the actual show you are watching?

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-07-2010 19:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X FYI: Real hippos at the zoo don't eat marbles. They should post a sign or something.

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-07-2010 19:53 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X "They" say money and sex is the root of all evil. Well I think "They" are just poor virgins.

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-07-2010 19:55 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X Daughter walks in on her mom giving dad a hand job, "Mommy, what you doing?" Mom says "Your daddy is getting too fat, so I'm letting some of the air out of him." The little girl replies, "Good luck, the lady next door is just got done blowing him up again

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-09-2010 00:21 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)