Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I just want to be with someone who isn't crazy but unfortunately I'm only attracted to women.
←Rate | 11-08-2013 00:35 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I only have two feelings, it's either "I'm hungry" or "I shouldn't have eaten this much"
←Rate | 11-06-2013 07:05 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men are born with a gene that allows them to know what the hell is going on in movies.
←Rate | 11-06-2013 06:57 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Let me make your morning" - coffee
←Rate | 11-05-2013 11:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ME: Siri, where did my year go? SIRI: "See Facebook"
←Rate | 11-04-2013 11:02 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In a perfect world, men would get the silent treatment anytime they requested it.
←Rate | 11-02-2013 15:47 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let's just have sex.. I don't need another friend.
←Rate | 11-02-2013 15:44 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No Officer, that's medicinal gasoline and matches.
←Rate | 11-01-2013 14:52 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being in the friend zone is like being the guy in the band who plays that little triangle.
←Rate | 11-01-2013 14:33 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can't believe people still go to the gym when they can just post it as their status and go have ice cream instead.
←Rate | 11-01-2013 14:30 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't relate to people who "forget to eat"
←Rate | 10-31-2013 14:51 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stop, drop and roll won't work in hell.
←Rate | 10-30-2013 07:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Clark Kent’s mask is a pair of glasses? And no one recognised him? I wore glasses to the job I was fired from and I was still kicked out.
←Rate | 10-29-2013 14:31 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm an adult, but not "pay my bills on time" adult.
←Rate | 10-27-2013 13:07 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is actually Kanye West's second marriage, as he's been divorced from reality for many years now.
←Rate | 10-23-2013 12:47 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be the change you wish the homeless people didn't know you had
←Rate | 10-23-2013 03:52 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time I make plans to eat better I can hear my stomach laughing
←Rate | 10-22-2013 08:39 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm available if you wanna dance with somebody or wanna feel the heat with somebody... just sayin.
←Rate | 10-21-2013 13:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can't fix stupid but you can avoid dating it.
←Rate | 10-19-2013 04:44 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to hit snooze from the back.
←Rate | 10-18-2013 09:04 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


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