Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Sometimes when I see a married couple, it appears to me like two people joined together to become one desperately boring person.
←Rate | 01-04-2014 12:30 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd rather mail myself somewhere than ride in a Smart Car.
←Rate | 01-04-2014 12:20 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Live in the moment. Unless the moment sucks. Then live on Facebook.
←Rate | 01-03-2014 13:35 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon January is what Monday would look like if it grew up.
←Rate | 01-01-2014 11:41 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Liver: The holidays are almost over. Come on you can do this!
←Rate | 12-31-2013 13:11 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I call the other side of my bed the Passenger side. It only makes sense.
←Rate | 12-31-2013 12:38 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it wasn't for me, my life would be pretty awesome.
←Rate | 12-31-2013 11:41 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing says "I would rather be with someone else" quite like cheating.
←Rate | 12-30-2013 00:40 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A taser, but for when people try to talk about their feelings.
←Rate | 12-26-2013 12:38 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love isn't real until one of you is on meds.
←Rate | 12-26-2013 10:18 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I smoke because I enjoy the smell of death.
←Rate | 12-26-2013 09:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When Kanye West blows out candles on a birthday cake he wishes it was his birthday, instead of whoever's party he's at.
←Rate | 12-24-2013 10:38 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Relationships? No, I prefer alcohol and pizza.
←Rate | 12-20-2013 15:27 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon my brain has too many tabs open.
←Rate | 12-20-2013 11:22 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don’t flatter yourself. I'm not attracted to you, this vodka I am drinking is.
←Rate | 12-19-2013 13:09 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's sad how an animal like a dog shows more humanity than humans do.
←Rate | 12-17-2013 23:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to tell if a girls mad at you: 1. Shes telling you she's not mad at you.
←Rate | 12-17-2013 06:41 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The more selfies she has, the more times you'll have to tell her she's pretty everyday.
←Rate | 12-15-2013 11:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Soul mate sounds like something Satan puts in his coffee.
←Rate | 12-15-2013 05:27 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not so much offended by what Megyn Kelly says, but I'm offended that someone so dumb and foolish has her own TV show.
←Rate | 12-15-2013 00:24 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  




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