Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Every time I make plans to eat better I can hear my stomach laughing
←Rate | 10-22-2013 08:39 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm available if you wanna dance with somebody or wanna feel the heat with somebody... just sayin.
←Rate | 10-21-2013 13:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can't fix stupid but you can avoid dating it.
←Rate | 10-19-2013 04:44 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to hit snooze from the back.
←Rate | 10-18-2013 09:04 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When does paying taxes get shut down? Asking for everyone with a job.
←Rate | 10-18-2013 02:49 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Laziness is a dish best served delivered.
←Rate | 10-17-2013 12:36 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just burnt my mouth on a slice of pizza and now I totally understand what betrayal feels like.
←Rate | 10-17-2013 12:09 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saw a donkey use the zebra crossing to cross the road. What a smart ass!
←Rate | 10-15-2013 13:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Insomnia is your body's way of asking for an orgasm.
←Rate | 10-15-2013 12:29 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you love someone, set them free. If they don't come back, send them all their stuff they left at your place.
←Rate | 10-15-2013 12:27 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Home is where your neighbors see you walk around with no pants on.
←Rate | 10-13-2013 04:35 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sharks and children, both can sense fear and weakness.
←Rate | 10-13-2013 03:37 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Panic Room is every room I walk into where there's people.
←Rate | 10-11-2013 13:31 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's only a "good morning" if there's coffee involved
←Rate | 10-11-2013 12:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sorry Kanye, but you can't name your baby North West, then call yourself a "creative genius."
←Rate | 10-10-2013 15:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you love someone, make them guess how you feel about them until they get tired and move on to someone else.
←Rate | 10-08-2013 02:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you decide to walk a mile in my shoes, it will likely just be a mile of circles looking for the remote.
←Rate | 10-07-2013 12:22 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Loving someone who doesn’t love you back isn’t as bad as trying to eat something immediately after brushing your teeth.
←Rate | 10-07-2013 12:05 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies; When a guy you don't know offers to buy you a drink in a club, he's not being nice he wants to have sex with you. It's not rocket science.
←Rate | 10-05-2013 14:24 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was wondering why my pants felt so comfortable till I realized they were still in the drawer.
←Rate | 10-03-2013 08:12 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  



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