hihuggiehi Funny Status Messages

   it sad that the plans I make after work depend on how much charge I have left in my phone battery?

   I think all Walmart bathrooms are required by law to look like the set of one of the "Saw" movies.

   Here's an original idea: Invent a mirror that reflects the way others see you so you won't be blinded by your opinion of your reflection

   Waxing every inch of male body hair is still more masculine than saying the word 'Man-scaping.'

   They should make a car that can text you when the car ahead of you brakes.....

   The saddest part of the recession is all of the laid-off workers at the C+C Music Factory

   I desperately need a "hide political posts" button on Facebook so I can still like all my friends after the election year is over.

   My new year's resolution is to improve my powers of concentra......... oh look a squirrel

   My pre-nup will indicate that I'm allowed to unplug her life support system should my phone need charging....

   When I'm drunk I just hit any buttons and put my faith in autocorrect.

   Merry Christmas! Or as my grandma always says, "there are whispers coming from the poinsettia again."

   So How long do I microwave these teenage turtles before I can teach them karate ?

   Love is like working out it hurts really bad until you just give up and eat a cake.

   There are men in this world who have killed sharks with their bare hands. I can't even touch a picture of a bug in a book.

   Ralph Macchio is 50. Pat Morita was 52 when the Karate Kid opened,,,,fact check next time!