Eddy Funny Status Messages

   Mike Tyson , Miguel Olivo .....if the zombies do come, it looks like they're starting as athletes 1st

   Pleas turn your mobile phone upside down now!!! Hurry 370HSSV 0773H

   golf is about "strokes" & "balls"...if that isnt a gay sport, idk what is

   i'd like to get a job at the phone company. they get to choose the phone numbers ppl get. if an ex comes in, give her a number with the last 4 digits spelling WIDE or UGLY & let her be stuck with that number

   why did it have to be Kim Jong Il...why couldn't it have been Beiber

   wants an asian monkey just so I can name it "who flung pu"

   those E-cigarettes plug into USB so when they run out of their fluid & get empty have they been "formatted"?

   Subway uses the slogan "eat fresh"...it makes me wonder if the other restaurants are fresh too because they don't say they are

   all that Tebowing didnt even get him into the super bowl

   transparent- noun, when your child is transgender, you are their transparent

   i time traveled tonight without using a DeLorean

   just like the calendar says, I "SAT" around all day today

   if someone is bipolar & bisexual, are they a "quad"?

   even google translate doesn't translate what women say

   pro tip: go to men's warehouse. try on a suit. take a selfie. say the suit isnt what you want & give it back. you just got a free picture of you looking good in a nice suit.

   eating some thanksgiving pie still with some cooh whip...cant have pie without cooh whip

   if Bill Gates was to die & go to hell, would that make him the "Gates of Hell"?

   dear Myans, its ok to be wrong...its not like its the end of the world

   my brain is like a prison....has all those cells & they dont all get used all the time

   life is just one big mess.....OCD people hate messes....therefore OCD people hate life