~heZz~ Funny Status Messages

   Hey Girl Scouts, let mom handle my cookie transaction. I don't have all day to watch you practice math..

   I want to shoot and eat a lion. Not for his meat. But for his powers.

   Right now what Lindsay Lohan needs more than anything is our caring and understanding. And just a little bit of cocaine if possible.

   I wish I was made up of 5 midgets, like a human Voltron.

   I can remember when he was just Lieutenant Tso...when nobody respected his meat..

   Vegas has the Ravens as a 9.5 point underdog against the Pats but the Ravens are a 3 body favorite in possible murders.

   Mayonnaise is now the largest ethnic group in the southern United States.

   Storms can be scary to kids, so I tell my son that thunder is God beating Jesus because he "forgot" to put his toys away.

   But, officer, that school zone pulled out right in front of me!!

   Life is all about ideas and who has the better one..

   spending all day at the furburger buffet...

   Happy Mamacita's Day to all the Senoritas who played for keeps