ron Funny Status Messages

   World's Shortest Fairy Tale: There once was a man who asked a woman to marry him. She said, "No." and he lived happily ever after.

   wonders why, if you send someone a fruit basket, you are thoughtful. If I mailed someone an orange and a banana, they'd wonder, "What the hell is wrong with that guy?"

   If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic.

   keep your issues in your tissue box, and learn how to keep them out of your status box..

   standing on his front lawn with his pants down waiting for Google Earth to come by and take his picture...

   There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works

   There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.

   realizes that coffee just isn't enough today ... Anyone have jumper cables I can borrow ?

   wonders why dogs run to the door when someone knocks? It's never for them.

   Good girls are bad girls that never get caught

   By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

   I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they do today.

   I Typed in search box on Google : "What do woman want?". Google Replied : "We are also searching..."

   Some women are terribly hard to please, ... . . . . . the rest are Impossible

   wishes the voices in his head would quit singing off-key

   Ladies.. Let no past relationship ruin your love life. Remember: "Love will only fail when you fail to love!" Keep moving!

   can't really remember, but I think my life must have been a lot more productive before I discovered Facebook...

   Ah yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

   May the itch of a thousand crabs affect the one who ruins your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.

   wishes his lawn was emo, then maybe it would cut itself.