XX-FOXY Funny Status Messages

   A beautiful girl is a beautiful girl, but a beautiful girl with a brain & smarts is a weapon of mass destruction...

   Trust is like an eraser. It gets smaller and smaller after every mistake.

   A lot of problems would disappear if people talked to each other more than talking about each other.

   Just to remind you: about 152 Days left to Christmas and 148 until the end of world happens again! Enjoy it!

   Every girl needs a good guy to help her laugh when she thinks she`ll never smile again.

   Good judgement comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgement

   Valentine's Day: Dinner for two - $80, Dessert - $20, Flowers - $50, Gold Necklace - $250, Bottle of French Champagne - $100, Godiva Strawberry Chocolates - $60… Look on his face after she says - “I'm on a period…” PRICELESS!!!

   Conference (noun), Definition: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

   I'd like to spend my Valentine's with the girl of my dreams… But she's gone by the time I'm awake…

   What Woodstock 1969 tought us is that life isn`t about waiting for the storm to pass, it`s about learning to dance in the rain...

   To the dude who flipped me off in the Starbucks parking lot for honking at him, before taking off like a maniac… You left your breakfast and coffee on top of your car…

   I'm beginning to understand why Ukraine vacation packages are being steeply discounted...

   If at first you don't succeed, buy her another beer.

   What if the 12/21/12 is the day Winrar trial period ends?

   Dear Syrian President Bashar Assad: if you are going to use human shields to protect yourself from rebel attacks, may I suggest using Snookie, Justin Bieber and Kardashians?

   Nobody's life is perfect, but life itself does have perfect moments….

   Friend: "Your phone`s ringing." Me: "Yeah, phones do that..."

   On Sunday France plays Croatia... Their defense will try to last 90 minutes and beat their World War II record...

   Other than insecurity, hatred & racism, sexism & discrimination, greed, infidelity and sheer stupidity most of the human race is pretty much perfect...

   I wonder if aliens ask each other. Do you believe in HUMANS?!