Tommy Chevelle Funny Status Messages

   I'll never forget the awesome feeling in kindergarten when I had the largest box of crayons with the sharpener.

   when I was a YOUNG artist.... my box of CRAYONS would only last ONCE...I would burn and MELT them into ART!

   I will abide by every single law and regulation while driving...not because I'm a good driver, but because there's a COP behind me.

   I'm glad that "worchestershire" isn't a word we have to use everyday! I would appear retarded.

   I've done more today than I've done in 4 years.

   I was driving thru Farmville and I had to pee...so I pulled over and fertilized your crops.

   You know you're getting old when the faster you move... the more you forget!

   prostitutes have the best job! They SELL their body.... and then they get to keep it!

   When someone yells STOP, I don't know if it's In the Name of Love, it's Hammertime, or that I should Stop, Collaborate, and Listen.

   One of the hardest things I ever had to do as a kid was OPEN a Band-Aid with a cut finger... using a stupid red string.

   I had a FULL SLAB of chicken RIBS for lunch, and I'm still hungry.

   Hi, I'm Tom Bodet for Motel 6. We'll leave the LYSOL.

   Apparently, you no longer have to be 21 to consume Budweiser!

   All day I've been getting calls from the number "1"... I finally answered it and NO ONE was there.