The FRED Funny Status Messages

   What's the difference between Penn State and the State Penn??? Sandusky will be catching not pitching!

   Sometimes you have to smile... Pretend everything's okay. Hold back the tears, And just walk away.

   why does ben rothlisberger cry after sex? ... because the pepper spray hurts so much.

   When a Blind dude & his dog go for a joyride, who dirves?

   Fat bottomed girls, You make the rockin' world go round.

   sick and is therefore listening to The Cure.

   My safe word is blueberry pancakes. Whoops! this isn't MySpace.

   Don't be sad, don't be blue, frankenstein was ugly too!

   going bar hoping with Tiger Woods & Ben Roethlisberger.

   might be addicted to eBay considering he just spent 6 hours trying to burn the face of Jesus into his toast.

   Hell is Where: the Police are German, the Chefs are British, the Mechanics are French, the Lovers are Swiss and it's all organized by the Italians.

   its National Coming Out Day. What ever you do don't take that call from Grandma. Trust Me on this.

   When I am king, you will be first against the wall, With your opinion which is of no consequence at all.

   Today is National Facebook Unfriend Day. I hope you make it to tomorrow as my friend. I just want you to know I'm pulling for you.

   Sending my regards to Seal. Hopefully, this won't scar him for life.

   Heaven is Where: the Police are British, the Chefs are Italian, the Mechanics are German, the Lovers are French and it's all organized by the Swiss.

   Tomorrow, I'm gonna write a blog post about procrastination.

   I'm watching extreme makeover: home edition in an attempt to invoke an emotion response from my cold and numb soul.

   My family was too poor to buy hooked on fonics.

   Can we get some National Guardsmen from the Kent State area to Penn State ASAP?