Surge Yarmolyuk Funny Status Messages

   In RELATIONSHIP status they should add "Flirtationship"- more than a friendship, less than a relationship

   Relationships are like sharing a book. It doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

   Pretty words aren't always true & true words aren't always pretty.

   When do you think Snooki gonna realize that she's a GRENADE?

   If you can't get them off your mind...then maybe they're supposed to be there.

   Don't let him ruin your life, he already ruined your mascara

   "It's impossible," said pride. "It's risky," said experience. "It's pointless," said reason. "Give it a try," said the heart.

   Heart breaks are like a broken mirror, you can still put the pieces together, but the cracks will still remain. 

   Ale-Ale-Andro, Judas, Juda-ah-ah, Pa-Pa-Pa-Pokerface, Te-Te-Te-Telephone... I think lady gaga has a studdering problem.

   your teeth are like the stars - yellow and far away from eachother

   MySpace and Facebook got a divorce... Looks like Facebook got custody of all the kids.

   miss being a kid. No one cared how you dressed, we were all friends, and you could be yourself. When did we turn so judgmental?

   Difference between promises and memories? We break promises, and our memories break us.

   I turn the music louder so I won't hear my thoughts, but it's stupid because the lyrics remind me of what I'm trying to forget. 

   I wish we could google how a certain person feels about us.

   'Everyday I'm shufflin!' Wait no, except on Fridays. I gotta get down on Fridays.

   Thanks to Facebook, I now know what everyone's bathrooms look like, one mirror at a time.

   "I wasn't drunk!!" "Dude, you were in my pool trying to find Nemo" ·

   I like going to McDonald's and asking for an application. Then I crumble it up and yell "HA! Like I'd work here. Get me a chocolate shake."

   1 Universe, 8 Planets, 7 Continents, 809 Islands, 204 Countries, and I had the privilege of meeting you.