Michael Askins Funny Status Messages

   wants less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.

   May the bridges I burn light the path in front of me...

   Facebook memories... Just in case you didn't have enough "WTF was I thinking" moments during the day..

   A relationship without trust is like a car with no gas. You can stay in it as long as you want, but its not going anywhere..

   wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of "liking" my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I'm awesome

   Spell check is for the week.

   Everyone needs to just calm down, I have it on good authority that the Anthony case has been re-opened! There was a witness and he just so happens to be the presiding judge. Trial is set to begin the moment she takes her last breath.

   If people winked and "laughed out loud" in real life half as much as they did when they were texting the world would be a very creepy place ;) lol

   The "running man" may no longer be a trendy dance move, but it's a cool way to get out of a boring conversation

   idiot noun \ˈi-dē-ət\ - One who disagrees with me

   Confucius says: Crowded elevator smell different to midget