Jeff W Funny Status Messages

   After the 7th text, I wish someone in this house would just call the other person and get the conversation over with. Or at the very least get a less annoying ring-tone announcing your incoming text.

   There is nothing worse than the feeling of a cushioned toilet seat!

   Tossing back a drink for all of the presidents who died...so that we could have a day off work. Salute!

   Lent is almost here! Time to get your Ash in church!

   my Sunday coupons are now bilingual, and it didn't even give me the option to press 1 for English.

   Storage Wars is fake? What will you tell me next, that Taco Bell meat isn't real or that Santa isn't real?

   So you can catch HIV from being in Two and a Half Men

   I just played FARKLE against somebody from across the World, and yet we had a mutual friend! My opponent knows Pamela Anderson too!

   she didn't think it was as funny when her plans for a Dutch Oven backfired.

   An older woman who likes young guys is a cougar. An older man who likes young guys is a Nittany Lion.

   big story in the paper about a movie called Super 8. I must be getting old because I don't remember the first 7 movies of that series.

   Congrats to Lamar Odom. The first guy to have cocaine and bookers actually save his marriage.