JOHN Funny Status Messages

   4/20 is the day that some of you celebrate smokin dope. 4/21 is the day your employer (If you have one) celebrates random drug testing!

   I feel like LIFESAVERS candy is overstating their importance...But just to be on the safe side I'm gonna go get some! If I'm found dead,I would like them to be sued for false advertising.

   We Want Top Gear Back Now

   the best way to end up divorced...get married.

   If you put your kid's GPA in your Christmas card's the grandparents might be proud of them but everyone else is gonna think YOU'RE a di<k!

   In my opinion,nobody needs a girlfriend or boyfriend untill they get married...

   What is Warm, Soft, Sticky and has a Hole in the middle? It's a Fresh donut. I was way off on that one!

   What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side.

   Your delusional,she wouldn't do you if your semen cured cancer!!!

   Todays suggestion...Someone just KILL terry jones,so more people dont die because of HIS stupidity. Like the GOVT hasent done it in the past,US citizen or not. Hell I'll do it,just give me the go ahead.

   wondering what you would do for a klondike bar?