Equaloppjoker Funny Status Messages

   You're exceeding the limits of my medication. Please go away.

   Sex is great, but.....HAVE YOU EVER HAD STUFFED CRUST PIZZA?!?!

   I wonder how many times in the past I was wrong before she entered my life and started keeping track?

   You might have a million dollar body, but you got a food stamp face!

   I'm worried because a coworker has incriminating nude photos of me. She says she will use them against me if I don't stop sending them to her.

   its not an addiction until you've blown someone for it.

   I have seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission.

   I really need to stop saying "How stupid can you be?" Some people are starting to take it as a personal challenge!

   I used to say that no one could be that stupid. Then I met you. I don't say that anymore.

   Where have you been my whole life? And could you please go back there?

   I like the sound you make when you shut up

   People make me itch!

   Somebody is out there, somewhere, thinking of the impact you've made in their life. It's not me. I think your an idiot.

   Brains are awesome! I wish everyone had one...

   Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by Vegetarians. Stop the violence. Eat Bacon!

   not sitting at home praying, he is out somewhere being prayed for!

   When wearing a baseball cap a BRO may position the brim at either 12 or 6 oclock. All other positions are reserved for rappers and the handicapped.

   If I have ten pieces of bacon and you take five pieces, what do you have? Thats right., A black eye and a broken hand!

   Did you know that if you put your ear up to a strangers leg you can hear them say, "WTF are you doing?"

   Your ass must get jealous of all the crap that comes out of your mouth!