Eddy Funny Status Messages

   so they asked Paula Deen if she ever said the "N" word.....i dont think she's ever used "nonfat"

   biggest lie women tell: be honest, I wont get mad

   on the tv show "cheers" they claim its the place "where everybody knows your name"...i don't think they sold many beers at the bar if they could recall names

   as much a chance with the ladies as a bird does flying safely through Arkansas

   i find it odd that there's never a yelp review for the yelp website

   thanks to Netflix I can tell my doctor I've done a lot of "marathons"

   leave it to Hugh Hefner to die on hump day

   remember moms, if you smell burnt toast you're not having a stroke...its the kids trying to make breakfast

   what did the California politician say to the restaurant manager ? this is the last straw

   ever wonder if the mcDonalds logo is the letter "m" or just an image of your butt cheeks it will cause?

   "theres plenty of fish in the sea"...apparently I'm looking where bp had an oil spill cause all I find is dirty ones

   feels sorry for the turkey....after it gets killed, the neck gets shoved up the @$$...what a way to go

   has anyone seen Steven Tyler lately?...that dude really does look like a lady

   with all these statues getting removed, I'm worried now about asking "the general" about car insurance

   I bet now Martin Shkreli wish he had that anti-parasite medicine

   this status has been formatted to fit your screen

   gun fired at the BET awards...dont they listen to rap music & realize the rappers have guns....try a metal detector at next year's award show

   wonders why all the old people talk about how far they walked to school back in the day...didnt anyone live close to the school back then

   went looking for camouflage underwear today.....couldn't find any

   DUI of the Tiger