@gnarleycharley Funny Status Messages

   If they can't elect a Pope in a week they should declare Overtime...and just play ROCK BIBLE SCISSORS

   I'm always nice to the new guy at work, because you can make bank on the show "Undercover Boss"

   I hate when people ask me what I'll be doing in five years, come on guys I don't have 2020 vision.

   celebrating Elvis style tonight....putting on his cape and bringing extra scarves for the ladies.

   How on Earth did Gorillas become experts on glue, they live in the rain forest. What are they gluing?

   Hey Europe just because you call your bathing suit a racing brief doesn't mean you don't look like a man wearing panties!

   looking for this guy named Lent...everybody keeps giving him things that I'm gonna need for my Charlie Sheen Holloween costume...

   ChrEasters people who only go to church on Christmas & Easter

   The Chupacabra came down the chimney and left me a Piñata full of coal ...that means 6 more months of Tequila! Happy Cinco De Mayo

   Aaron Hernandez is already proving to be a hot prospect for several prison gangs, and he is expected to be drafted quickly.

   I realize you are trying to protect a very expensive Jacket….But Mothballs STINK!!!! Who's the Genius that thought Storing anything in balls of chemical pesticide would be a good idea?

   Here's a story,of a LOVELY lady
 who was bringing up three very LOVELY girls
all of them had hair of gold, like their mother.
the youngest one in curls. RIP CAROL BRADY

   I have been watching that new reality show on the History channel...I had no idea that Bill Paxton hated Kevin Costner....

   This Fall...Bruce Jenner, Kim Kardashian, North Kardashian West, Khloe Kardashian & Kylie Jenner star in "The Kar-Crashians" only on E!

   Its Memorial Day Weekend and we have the media shoving Kanye & Kim’s wedding down out throats? The brave fallen solders of WWII fought so hard to defeat the Nazi’s so we can have the freedom to change the channel.

   What, you have a gravy boat!! Where is this gravy river you speak of?

   Guess Harrison Ford didn't like my hide snakes on plane prank.....

   Apparently, the answer to WWJD is ……hire Peyton Manning.

   Conspiracy Theory #237 - The Easter bunny and the tooth fairy are secretly working together.

   wonders if  regular squirrels get mad at their parents  when they see a flying squirrel?