Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Want people to leave you alone? Tuck in your sweater.
←Rate | 12-11-2013 13:21 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Sometimes you run into people who just make your day more bearable. Those people are called bartenders.
←Rate | 01-10-2017 08:57 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My fridge is just hospice for vegetables.
←Rate | 11-03-2014 06:23 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My 13yo just dumped his girlfriend and now he's attempting to get his hoodie back. He's in for one hell of a life lesson.
←Rate | 12-15-2014 08:03 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's cool how Bruce Lee studied philosophy & poetry then applied it to something beautiful like punching people in the face.
←Rate | 04-23-2014 01:05 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Time to get out of bed and worry from another location.
←Rate | 05-13-2014 00:58 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon All you single ladies, please stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don't subject an innocent cat to a life with you.
←Rate | 05-31-2013 08:15 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men are born with a gene that allows them to know what the hell is going on in movies.
←Rate | 11-06-2013 06:57 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know why divorce is so expensive? Because it's worth it.
←Rate | 10-22-2014 13:30 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Clearly skinny jeans are easier to obtain than skinny genes
←Rate | 11-15-2014 00:28 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're not afraid when someone is flipping through the photos on your phone then you're probably boring.
←Rate | 10-13-2014 01:58 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I find it funny how people throw around inspirational stuff like ‘live your life to the fullest’ after they've spent the entire day on Facebook.
←Rate | 11-26-2013 02:35 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fact: You're not a true vegan unless you tell 10 people every day
←Rate | 05-31-2013 08:12 by Kisstopher707 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Being in the friend zone is like being the guy in the band who plays that little triangle.
←Rate | 11-01-2013 14:33 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I miss the good old days before social media when adults acted like four year olds in private.
←Rate | 01-18-2016 12:36 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Objects in the selfie are way sadder than they appear.
←Rate | 08-07-2014 10:45 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I remember when peer pressure was all about drugs and promiscuous sex. Now it's Fitbit and who has the best gluten free recipes.
←Rate | 06-23-2016 05:39 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.
←Rate | 03-28-2015 13:06 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't tell if the vegetarians upstairs are having sex or are finally eating a steak.
←Rate | 06-07-2013 05:53 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Social Media: Because I like to socialize with cool people without having to speak, wear pants or get off the couch.
←Rate | 01-27-2015 12:39 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


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