~heZz~ Funny Status Messages

   Tonight marks the 83rd Consecutive Anniversary of me not watching the Oscars

   1 in 5 relationships now start online. The other 4 will end online.

   When I was a kid, snow days cost $100 and only lasted a few hours...

   BAD NEWS: I've never been in love. GOOD NEWS: I've never been in Courtney Love.

   Some people struggle with their addictions. I embrace them.

   I wish I was made up of 5 midgets, like a human Voltron.

   spending all day at the furburger buffet...

   I want to shoot and eat a lion. Not for his meat. But for his powers.

   Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, damn, you're good. Fool me four times…expect a drive-by

   Have you ever read a book or watched a film that touched your soul so deeply it changed your entire outlook on life? I just took a dump like that….

   doesn't dress up for Halloween cause I'm a character all year long...

   life is like a box of chocolates..and sometimes you get ex lax....