griff Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Today is my day off so I'll spend it worrying that I'm wasting my day off before I have to go back to work.
←Rate | 01-25-2012 10:00 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who the hell is this Will Power guy everyone is talking about? Maybe I'll run into him at the bar after my A.A. meeting.
←Rate | 01-25-2012 09:54 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon I drink while I work out. I call it Bacardio.
←Rate | 01-25-2012 09:52 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon After years of being called 'behind the times', I've finally got a trendy haircut. Just check out my profile pic on MySpace, losers! (
←Rate | 01-25-2012 09:51 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Facebook gets any slower, I'm just going to jog to each of your houses and shout out stuff.
←Rate | 01-25-2012 09:50 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Touch it gently, put 2 fingers inside, if it's wide use 3 fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.
←Rate | 01-17-2012 05:17 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend yelled at me yesterday, "That's why we always fight...because you only hear what you want to hear!" "Thank you," I replied, "I HAVE been working out."
←Rate | 01-11-2012 09:50 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please don't start calling me 'hero' but this lady collapsed at the grocery store and I was the first one to call for a clean up in Aisle 3.
←Rate | 01-03-2012 06:20 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am such a thoughtful Lad! I bought my ex a chair for Christmas. But the power company won't let me hook it up.
←Rate | 12-16-2011 05:48 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon gonna buy a real tree sometime this week, hope it doesnt end up like amy winehouse, dead...5' 6 and surrounded by needles by christmas...
←Rate | 12-14-2011 17:40 by griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please breathe the other way. You're bleaching my hair.
←Rate | 12-07-2011 08:11 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon The doctor said I have ADOLAB. Attention Deficit...Ooo! Look! A beer!
←Rate | 12-07-2011 08:09 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon hates it when I get invited to weird events on Facebook. For the fifth time, I do not want to go to your cat's birthday party, freak. My dog is getting married
←Rate | 12-07-2011 08:06 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon only eats chocolate covered caramel because that's how I Rolo™
←Rate | 06-29-2011 09:37 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I like to go to the hardware store and run around with a screwdriver shouting, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a drill!"
←Rate | 06-29-2011 09:25 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon I turned my phone onto "Airplane mode" and threw it up into the air. Worst. Transformer. Ever.
←Rate | 06-29-2011 09:01 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon I walked passed the fridge earlier an thought I heard the BeeGees, when I opened the door it was only a chive talking.
←Rate | 06-27-2011 06:20 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon The following sentence is true: The previous sentence is false. (
←Rate | 05-26-2011 09:27 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon was completely offended, but then you said "no offense," so now everything's cool.
←Rate | 05-26-2011 09:13 by Griff Comments (0)  


   messageicon While cooking dinner tonight I got herbs in my eyes. I am now parsley sighted
←Rate | 05-24-2011 07:44 by Griff Comments (0)  




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