Sully Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon SAFETY REMINDER: If you encounter an NFL Running Back this weekend, Keep your distance and do NOT approach them....
←Rate | 09-13-2014 12:21 by SULLY Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have 3 babysitting rules. 1. Don't touch my Oreos. 2. Don't bug me unless you're dying. 3. If you don't tell on me, I won't tell on you........
←Rate | 08-24-2014 12:33 by SULLY Comments (0)  


   messageicon hmmmm...... Thats weird, I dont remember eating corn last night?
←Rate | 08-16-2014 12:46 by SULLY Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I ever get into road rage again, and the person gets out of their car. I'm going to run them over under the Tony Stewart act..... Just saying
←Rate | 08-10-2014 16:17 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I wish Tony Stewart would run me over....... #Hangover
←Rate | 08-10-2014 15:50 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Relax, everyone.....The government that couldn't get a website to work has got this Ebola thing. Don't worry!!
←Rate | 08-04-2014 21:25 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not saying it's a bad idea to bring an Ebola patient to Atlanta, I'm saying everyone should leave Atlanta because I've seen this movie....
←Rate | 07-31-2014 19:01 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Excited to try this new Starbucks Nigerian Ebola Blend this morning....yum yum
←Rate | 07-31-2014 11:49 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I might have a natural immunity to Ebola. I get feverish, diarrhea and vomiting symptoms most Sunday mornings....
←Rate | 07-30-2014 14:31 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Is it just me...., or does "Ebola" sound kind of like "Obama?"
←Rate | 07-30-2014 13:39 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon My left buttcheek fell asleep. I'm Half-assing everything I do for the next ten minutes.....
←Rate | 07-30-2014 08:06 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear air conditioning: I don't think I've ever truly expressed how grateful I am for you. Now please keep cranking out that cold air.......
←Rate | 06-29-2014 16:44 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Paid a kid $20.00 to cut my grass - I've officially created more jobs this year than Obama.......
←Rate | 06-28-2014 11:33 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon America. Even when we lose, we still win..... USA!!
←Rate | 06-26-2014 14:56 by sully Comments (1)  


   messageicon Sex-ed classes in school should just be listening to a baby cry for six straight hours while watching the same cartoon on repeat........
←Rate | 06-26-2014 10:23 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Merry Half-Christmas! Enjoy the holiday, everyone.....
←Rate | 06-25-2014 14:05 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Been teaching the grandkids about taxes at DQ by eating 38% of their ice cream.......
←Rate | 06-23-2014 18:51 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Asked my wife if she would be my friend on FB again, she said no. She said my "funny" status updates are annoying. Therefore, I must conclude she loves me for my body...
←Rate | 06-12-2014 21:42 by SULLY Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you swap five copperheads for a rattlesnake, your kids still won't be any safer in the yard. Same with terrorists and traitors.....
←Rate | 06-03-2014 20:34 by SULLY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Since Obama is negotiating with terrorists......... Let's offer Mexico a prisoner swap. We will give them 11.7 million immigrants in exchange for our one Marine.
←Rate | 05-31-2014 13:53 by SULLY Comments (7)  




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