Steve OH Funny Status Messages

   haven't been this hungover since yesterday

   Can't wait to see the hour of commercials it takes for some dude to be eaten alive by an Anaconda in five minutes tonite...

   I missed a period in that last status. I hope I'm not pregnant!!!

   Self Control is not smacking 2 girls arguing over which filter to use before Instagraming a pic of their Pumpkin Spice Latte.

   Haters are like crickets… they make a lot of noise!!

   Changed my iCloud password to, "1234". Now we wait...

   When I grow up, I wanna be the guy in the fluffy suit that police dogs attack!!!

   If I'm ever in a coma, please don't try to wake me. I'm doing what I love.

   It's true, opposites attract. My wife gets up early and does stuff.

   You would think with all the ice water laying all over the world, it would be a lot cooler...

   Gonna try out my new drinking game tonight... 1. Turn on the news. 2. Take a drink every time the word FERGUSON is said!!!

   Get your popcorn ready! It's Movie Night in Ferguson again!!

   Surprised I didn't see pics of kids kicking and screaming titled, "Second Day Of School"

   My toenails taste different. Hope I'm not sick...

   You're never too old to learn stupid siht...

   Yeah, that's right! I learned all my dance moves from the paternity tests on Maury!!

   That is correct Monday. And the horse you rode in on...

   WTF. Adam Lavine photoshops his face onto my body? so pissed right now...

   If You Like Piña Colada's, and getting songs stuck in your head...

   They told me I can't sit in the parking lot anymore and post that I'm working out. So I guess I'll go in and give it a try...