Rashad Hammoud Funny Status Messages

   Maybe if my boss saw how many statuses I can drop in a day, he'd stop saying I'm unproductive.

   COOL TIP: If a homeless person is ever asking you for money, cut them off and say "hey do you got a dollar". (This usually throws them off)

   If friends could be bought at the store, I'd buy you. And I'd get a good deal because those “slightly irregular” bins are always discounted.

   Israel changes its relationship status with Egypt on FB to "it's complicated". Lebanon, Syria & Palestine 'like' this

   Using your car to take your girlfriend to that place she likes.

   You know you're addicted to gambling when you spend your hard earned money on virtual chips in Zynga.

   Dear U.S. Government, I was just wondering if I can get my tax return in advance. I would use my credit cards but theyr'e maxed out and I am currently unemployed. Regards, everyday U.S. citizen.

   If you don't like me, leave a message. If I don't get back to you, don't worry.. its probably because i'm too busy giving a damn.