Jeremycakes Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I made sushi for my dinner today. I was missing some ingrediants though, so I substituted the fish with ham, the wasabi with mustard and the rice with two slices of bread. Yum! Good sushi!
←Rate | 03-15-2011 13:19 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm swearing off energy drinks! The last one left me so buzzed,I ended up out in my yard for hours freaking out about a double rainbow!
←Rate | 03-15-2011 13:18 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon Watching wrestling. Kinda tired of hearing the fans yell "WHAT???" That catchphrase was old years ago. DAMN YOU STEVE AUSTIN! ;) ;) ;)
←Rate | 03-13-2011 16:14 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon Snooki is going to be hosting WWE raw on monday. Finally, a good match for Hornswoggle
←Rate | 03-09-2011 13:31 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never open a email with the attachment " Charlie Sheen footage". It's not a virus or anything,but lets face it, we've all had enough of that idiot lately.
←Rate | 03-08-2011 23:18 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon A guy from kentucky won a 60 million dollar jackpot recently. He said he's going to split all the money with his wife and sister. Wow, that's one lucky woman.
←Rate | 03-03-2011 09:12 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember a couple years ago when everybody thought Tom Cruise was losing his marbles? Looks like Charlie Sheen has set the new standard for celiberty craziness .Better tell Oprah to hide the couch.
←Rate | 03-01-2011 10:42 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon Police officer says "Anything you say will be taken down and used as evidence against you." Your answer should always be "Please don't hit me again officer"
←Rate | 02-27-2011 21:24 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon If young girls ruled the world there would be no wars. They would be too busy obsessing about Twilight and Justin beiber to do anything violent.
←Rate | 02-25-2011 17:58 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon People eat at Mcdonalds because they either.(A) love it but don't know how bad it is for you (B) Love it but they don't care that it's bad for you (C).Don't really like it but eat it because they desperatly need to clean out thier colon.
←Rate | 02-25-2011 12:37 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was asked today, " Jeremy, should I dye my beard and get rid of the grey hairs? Or do I look better with the greys?" So I looked this person right in the eyes and said "Aunt Shirley, you really should just shave it! You look like Chewbacca's sister!"
←Rate | 02-23-2011 21:35 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now I'm not going to say Snoop Dog smokes alot of pot, but last night at a concert he farted and the entire first 3 rows got the munchies.
←Rate | 02-22-2011 19:41 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon I walked into the bank and put a bag of weed on the desk. The clerk says, "What r you doing?" I said,"I want to open a joint account"
←Rate | 02-22-2011 16:44 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon Charlie Sheen has been giving people advice on sobriety. Hmm, that's kind of like Tiger woods or Jessie James giving advice on how to be a good husband.
←Rate | 02-18-2011 15:27 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon (Q) Reproduceing bees are called queens. What are the none reproduceing bees called? (a) Lesbees
←Rate | 02-14-2011 08:25 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was in my doctors office the other day. he said "One last thing, you really have to stop eating so many eggs." I said "Is my cholestoral too high?" Then the doctor said " No, but you farted in the waiting room and darn near killed everyubody.'
←Rate | 02-14-2011 08:21 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sex is the price women pay for marriage,and marriage is the price men pay for sex
←Rate | 02-13-2011 23:10 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon I found a skull near my home today. I went to call the police, but curiosity got the better of me and I picked the skull up and wondered "Who was this person?","Where did he come from?" "How did he die?",and "Why did he have moose antlers?"
←Rate | 02-12-2011 19:51 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon We've gotten too much snow lately. Everywhere outside it looks whiter than the audience at a Toby Keith concert!
←Rate | 02-10-2011 23:21 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon People are often worried about the mafia, but I think it's Justin Beiber we should be worried about. Get on Beibers bad side and he can send tens of thousends of angry young girls over to your house to totally kick your butt! Beib's the new John Gotti.
←Rate | 02-07-2011 20:56 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  




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