Jc Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Don't make me go all CAPS LOCKS on you...
←Rate | 04-22-2011 11:43 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I say, "I never do that"...what I mean is "I haven't done that in the past five minutes."
←Rate | 04-05-2011 12:04 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon The month of March - In like a lion, out like a lamb. A ferocious, saber-toothed, axe-wielding, lamb. Brrrrr...
←Rate | 03-30-2011 08:06 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon As a fast driver, I have certain rules when I come to a red light intersection with two or more lanes. In order of importance: Never get behind a: 1) A semi, bus or large truck, 2) Drivers with grey hair, 3) A Prius (or other hybrid), and 4) A mini van
←Rate | 03-13-2011 13:41 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon there a better scream-along song than Journey's Don't Stop Believin'?
←Rate | 03-04-2011 02:56 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Went grocery shopping this morning. I noticed that the bottle of household bleach I bought has a safety seal on its opening. Glad my floors or toilet won't be poisoned. Interestingly, however, my toothpaste does not have a safety seal. Thanks Uncle Sam!
←Rate | 02-09-2011 11:39 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon The older I get, the older old is.
←Rate | 02-05-2011 18:00 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think Facebook needs another relationship type: Domestic Incarceration
←Rate | 01-27-2011 02:53 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon it bad that I just lit the cigarette of the pregnant woman I just bought a drink for?
←Rate | 01-05-2011 16:22 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't believe I wasn't paying attention at 1:11 on 1/1/11. Argh. I waited all my life for that to happen. Darn, darn, darn it. 2:22 on 2/2/22 just won't be the same.
←Rate | 01-01-2011 17:55 by JC Comments (2)  


   messageicon I'm convinced this formula is correct: big car stereo = small wiener
←Rate | 12-21-2010 17:29 by JC Comments (2)  


   messageicon If Windows 7 is my idea, why the heck do I have to pay for it?
←Rate | 12-13-2010 09:58 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm an optimist and Windows 8 will be my idea.
←Rate | 12-13-2010 09:58 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today I heard that song where the dogs bark Jingle Bells. I must admit those are some pretty talented canines. I've been working on that song with my dog for two years straight and he still gets mixed up during the third verse. He's not the brightest.
←Rate | 12-04-2010 10:29 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am addicted to Cold Turkey. Not sure how I will ever quit that one.
←Rate | 11-30-2010 09:51 by JC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am definitely spending too much time on this here internet thing. Today some rude dude bumped into me and I said to him out loud, "Double-you Tee Eff?!"
←Rate | 11-29-2010 10:38 by JC Comments (1)  


   messageicon The man in front of me is buying a pregnancy test. I bet this is the one time in his life, he wishes she sent him for tampons
←Rate | 11-16-2010 17:24 by jc Comments (0)  


   messageicon There was a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge and a note, "Don't eat me." Now there's an empty plate and a note, Don't tell me what to do.
←Rate | 11-16-2010 17:23 by jc Comments (0)  


   messageicon likes to sit in the pharmacy on my phone talking about how I have a contagious rash on 90% of my body and the Dr. can't find a medicine that works!
←Rate | 11-16-2010 17:22 by jc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't drink and park. Accidents cause people.
←Rate | 09-21-2010 09:36 by JC Comments (0)  




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