@plasticmortal Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing.
←Rate | 05-09-2010 02:54 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon In my house, we pray after we eat.
←Rate | 05-09-2010 02:54 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon I once went out with this wild girl. She made French toast and got her tongue caught in the toaster.
←Rate | 05-09-2010 02:50 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the West.
←Rate | 05-09-2010 02:49 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.
←Rate | 05-09-2010 02:47 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
←Rate | 05-09-2010 02:46 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon My old man, I told him I'm tired of running around in circles. So he nailed my other foot to the floor.
←Rate | 05-09-2010 02:45 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
←Rate | 05-09-2010 02:44 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.
←Rate | 05-09-2010 02:37 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
←Rate | 05-09-2010 02:34 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.
←Rate | 05-09-2010 02:33 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think Pringles originally intended to make tennis balls
←Rate | 05-09-2010 02:31 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Old people need to urinate all the time... That's why they call it the golden years"
←Rate | 05-09-2010 02:27 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon a instant human.........just add coffee
←Rate | 05-03-2010 11:32 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mary had a little lamb the doctor fainted
←Rate | 04-18-2010 11:33 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon the only thing not covered by the new health care bill is busting your ass
←Rate | 03-31-2010 20:44 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  




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