@UXBRIDGEGUY Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The wind is proper whipping it up out there, guess I won't be taking the broom out for a spin tonight
←Rate | 10-27-2014 13:55 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oops, just bought vodka instead of milk again
←Rate | 10-21-2014 09:39 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you are alone and feeling lonely, fart. Someone always walks in after you fart.
←Rate | 10-19-2014 04:14 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to my nipples, summer is over
←Rate | 10-08-2014 14:05 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (2)  


   messageicon Don't see the point in calling this phone a iPhone anymore, it' spends that much time on charge it may as well be called a landline!!!
←Rate | 10-08-2014 02:40 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon that a banana in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? Neither, it's my new iPhone.
←Rate | 09-29-2014 01:18 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm gonna complain to Domino's! They said I'd have my pizza before I could say 'Piping hot!'. I've said it 867 times since then and it's STILL not here!
←Rate | 09-23-2014 03:19 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's no panic like trying to press "End" when you make an accidental call.
←Rate | 09-16-2014 10:15 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.
←Rate | 09-16-2014 10:13 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Relationship status: sleeping in my bed diagonally"
←Rate | 09-13-2014 05:41 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon You said you didn't want to text your ex, Tequila determined that was a lie
←Rate | 09-13-2014 05:41 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it’s the thought that counts, then I should probably be in jail.
←Rate | 09-11-2014 11:03 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear sneeze, If you’re gonna happen, happen. Don’t put a stupid look on my face and leave.
←Rate | 09-11-2014 11:03 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them
←Rate | 08-19-2014 05:29 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Commercials led me to believe that changing shampoos would have a much bigger effect on my life."
←Rate | 08-15-2014 13:26 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance… The five stages of waking up.
←Rate | 08-15-2014 13:25 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Practising my breast stroke, so if I ever get a girlfriend I dont do it wrong...
←Rate | 08-15-2014 13:20 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon It’s nice that my vacuum has a headlight just in case I want to clean in the dark or wake my dog up thinking he’s getting hit by a train.
←Rate | 08-11-2014 04:28 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Laptop should come with a breathalyzer so I can't post anything after 3 glasses of wine
←Rate | 08-10-2014 18:04 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I may not be that much of an importance to you but atleast I will be there when you need me
←Rate | 08-10-2014 18:03 by @uxbridgeguy Comments (0)  




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