father OR dad Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I find it fascinating that the Media always has a hard on to ask Ivanka Trump about how HER father treats women .... BUT for some reason NO media outlet whatsoever ...... NEVER asks Chelsea Clinton that. .... Curious isn't it.
←Rate | 07-18-2016 11:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mick Jagger to be a father at 72. Names Keith Richards child's godfather to ensure the child is brought up right long after Mick's gone.
←Rate | 07-15-2016 16:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Coworker: I have an announcement to make. We are expecting twins. Me: Congrats on having 2 kids with the same father!
←Rate | 07-13-2016 10:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The United Kingdom just asked Donald Trump's father for a small loan.
←Rate | 06-26-2016 01:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My chore list is cleverly disguised as a Home Depot gift card again this Father's Day.
←Rate | 06-21-2016 04:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm wondering...did Bruce Jenner get a father's day gift on father's day, a mother's day gift on Mother's day, or gifts on both days? If he gets gifts on both days, then this all makes sense now.
←Rate | 06-20-2016 20:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guess who's not getting anything for father's day....Bruce Jenner
←Rate | 06-20-2016 01:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's Father's Day not FARTHERS DAY Ladies
←Rate | 06-20-2016 00:42 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I want the entire beach to myself on Father's Day, I wear a Speedo.
←Rate | 06-19-2016 06:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Father's Day to all the real Dad's.... Sit down deadbeats we celebrate you on April Fool's Day...
←Rate | 06-19-2016 05:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The vending machine gave me an extra bag of Skittles today, hope my Dad loves his Father's Day gift.
←Rate | 06-17-2016 15:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ivanka Trump is writing a new book called "Women Who Work: Rewriting The Rules Of Success." Rule number 1 is having a wealthy, powerful father.
←Rate | 06-10-2016 01:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon kid climbed into the Gorilla exhibit because the Gorilla looked like his jigaboo father
←Rate | 06-01-2016 03:12 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I have to be careful with my kids when I talk about the death of their father. It's a sensitive subject and I don't want them warning him.
←Rate | 03-24-2016 09:24 by Karen Comments (0)  


   messageicon Father's Day must be the most confusing day in the ghetto.
←Rate | 03-19-2016 15:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tattoos don't make you a whore. Going on Maury 6 times and STILL can't find your baby's father? That makes you a whore.
←Rate | 02-25-2016 14:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Huge spoiler here....... Dave is actually NOT the real father of Alvin, Simon, and Theodore. I know, right?!?!?
←Rate | 12-19-2015 08:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been..." "Ma'am, please just vote and exit the booth!
←Rate | 11-21-2015 13:07 by @kalleygirl Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Luke, I am your father." - Darth Vader, after Luke won the lottery.
←Rate | 11-19-2015 07:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Taking care of your drunk friends inadvertently prepares you to be a father or mother.
←Rate | 11-11-2015 12:26 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


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