~heZz~ Funny Status Messages

   Right now what Lindsay Lohan needs more than anything is our caring and understanding. And just a little bit of cocaine if possible.

   It only took Kim Kardashian 72 days to realize that Kris Humphries wasn't black

   The English language is the easiest to learn because even if you get it wrong, so do most of the natives

   I'm really starting to get concerned about the lack of seatbelt use on the bangbus..

   Hey Girl Scouts, let mom handle my cookie transaction. I don't have all day to watch you practice math..

   On my way to the kid's school... apparently, a nicotine patch is not an appropriate substitute for a band-aid.

   Storms can be scary to kids, so I tell my son that thunder is God beating Jesus because he "forgot" to put his toys away.

   Happy Mamacita's Day to all the Senoritas who played for keeps

   Vegas has the Ravens as a 9.5 point underdog against the Pats but the Ravens are a 3 body favorite in possible murders.

   I'd rather shower with my parents than go shopping on Black Friday...

   I can remember when he was just Lieutenant Tso...when nobody respected his meat..

   just opened a store next to 'Forever 21', called 'Finally 22'