Jerry Carter Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Well it appears coming soon to a store near you...The Morning After Pill. Marketed in fun filled colors and your favorite cartoon characters. You can choose from flintstone, gummy bear, buggs bunny, or any of your favorite Disney characters...
←Rate | 05-01-2013 11:08 by Jerry Carter Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh well, a friend just tried to send ricin via email!!!! He never was the brightest color in the crayon box!!
←Rate | 06-05-2013 11:21 by Jerry Carter Comments (0)  


   messageicon So the electric motor on our ceiling fan went out. We had a old blender that was about to be a yard sale item so I modified it and rigged it on the ceiling fan. Now I have off, high, tornado, and hurricane. And oddly, a self cleaning house now.....
←Rate | 06-26-2013 22:57 by Jerry Carter Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am about tired of all this frozen global warming!
←Rate | 12-08-2013 23:03 by jerry carter Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just heard that in order to show no hard feelings, Phil has ordered the staff at Duck Commander to increase production of pink duck calls by 25%!! What a guy...
←Rate | 12-20-2013 11:57 by jerry carter Comments (1)  


   messageicon Remember safety first.... Reach, Throw, Row, Go......Only you can rescue someone who may have stepped off into a pothole!
←Rate | 12-21-2013 20:34 by jerry carter Comments (0)  


   messageicon Woke up screaming Sunday morning. My apologies to everyone at church...
←Rate | 11-05-2014 09:00 by Jerry Carter Comments (0)  


   messageicon Where are all these beautiful singles in my area that want to meet me. I keep getting a popup with photo's of several ladies, However I have never noticed them at wal-mart, the grocery store, church, or anywhere around here. I Think this may be a scam!!
←Rate | 04-07-2015 09:40 by Jerry Carter Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had no idea Baltimore had won any type of championship!!!!
←Rate | 04-28-2015 09:22 by Jerry Carter Comments (0)  


   messageicon You ever felt like a fool, by waving your hands at a paper towel dispenser that turned out to not be automatic. Other folks in the rest room think you are a ninja of something....
←Rate | 08-23-2015 08:12 by Jerry Carter Comments (0)  


   messageicon I watched the news reports on what was going on in Chicago!!!! I had no idea Trump won the playoffs!!!!
←Rate | 03-12-2016 11:07 by Jerry Carter Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just finished my taxes...As much as I am going to have to pay...The least Obama could do is send me a photo of the family I am sponsoring!!!!
←Rate | 03-15-2016 11:42 by Jerry Carter Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's with all these diaper companies.... I have tried three brands so far... The bag clearly says 12 to 14 pounds..... Folks I am here to tell you, not one brand held over 10 pounds before we had to change them.... Talk about a mess!!!!
←Rate | 05-30-2016 11:09 by Jerry Carter Comments (0)  


   messageicon Are you tired of wal-mart rushing our holiday's? I can't believe it, They already have birthday cards out and it's still months away from my birthday!!!!
←Rate | 06-05-2016 08:50 by Jerry Carter Comments (0)  


   messageicon My credit score is so bad I have started receiving pre-declined credit card offers!
←Rate | 07-12-2016 16:38 by Jerry Carter Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have an electric stove, but I prefer acoustic. The proceeding random thought was for all my musician friends........
←Rate | 07-20-2016 09:57 by Jerry Carter Comments (0)  


   messageicon My bank account has been hacked....The hacker felt so sorry for me, he sent me a message and has started a gofundme page......
←Rate | 08-05-2016 13:17 by Jerry Carter Comments (0)  


   messageicon I watched the Olympics last night....I first watched competitive house remodeling, then Cooking with the nuwave oven, and finally finished the evening off with what I thought was going to be open water shark vacuuming....Olympics have sure changed...
←Rate | 08-11-2016 15:02 by Jerry Carter Comments (0)  


   messageicon After the debate last night and according to tradition we should have a long hard winter....Both Hillary and Donald saw their shadows.
←Rate | 09-27-2016 15:10 by Jerry Carter Comments (0)  


   messageicon I watched some of the debate last night...I kept on waiting for someone to say "Live from New York it's Saturday Nite"!!!!! But it never happened.....
←Rate | 10-10-2016 14:16 by Jerry Carter Comments (0)  




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