tim Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'tim': View All Messages
Page: 2 of 4

   messageicon just saw a Prius with that brake problem. It was barreling down the road at speeds exceeding 35 MPH.
←Rate | 02-05-2010 22:20 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some stuff gets better with age, other stuff feels the effects of gravity.
←Rate | 02-07-2010 00:27 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon and always will be the man (most of you have to grow some before using this)
←Rate | 02-21-2010 00:23 by tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon heard some folks trying to change the name of Killer Whale to something less threatening. Sea World, Killer Whale was quoted as saying, "I'm back baby!"
←Rate | 02-27-2010 08:42 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon | That whale grabbed the trainer by the ponytail and took her under. That is why that advice to, "remember when working with seafood, to always wear a hair net" is so important.
←Rate | 02-27-2010 08:46 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon living each day as if it were his last: The cashier at Krispy Kreame knows him by name.
←Rate | 02-28-2010 19:00 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon living each day as if it were his last: That Korean massage parlor is on to him though. They stopped giving him dying-day happy-ending discounts.
←Rate | 02-28-2010 19:02 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks you're his smartest and best-looking friend on Facebook. (Thanks for not telling the others.)
←Rate | 02-28-2010 22:26 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon has a thing going with X's wife. Wait... all this third person stuff has X and me confused!
←Rate | 02-28-2010 22:29 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders if there are gay terrorists. I bet they'd wear fancy explosive underwear.
←Rate | 02-28-2010 22:30 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders if there are gay terrorists. "Hey, Mr. Embassy man... two snaps ka-boom!"
←Rate | 02-28-2010 22:32 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders if suacide bombers text. "BRB ... J/K! I won't BRB." Or, "TTFN SYIHW72V" = ta ta for now, see you in heaven with 72 virgins.
←Rate | 02-28-2010 22:35 by Tim Comments (1)  


   messageicon thinks that while many auto manufactures put the brakes on due to this global ressession, Toyota just kept on rollin'.
←Rate | 03-15-2010 10:45 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just got out of the shower and dried off with a Sham Wow! Think I'll slip into a Snuggie and watch some infomercials.
←Rate | 03-20-2010 20:17 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks chihuahuas are really regular size dogs in tight skin. All that made it out was their eyes! That would explain why they're so angry.
←Rate | 03-21-2010 23:41 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon Am I the only one that found irony in Walmart having a whites sale this week?
←Rate | 03-22-2010 15:53 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yoda's last name Lay-he-hoo?
←Rate | 03-24-2010 00:38 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon OCD's Anonymous meeting at my place. Anyone who feels compelled to clean up, go for it.
←Rate | 04-04-2010 10:06 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've got an empty coffee cup and no memory of drinking it. I don't put cream in my coffee, so I think that's a black out.
←Rate | 04-06-2010 23:42 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon "You want the booth?!? You can't handle the booth!" Jack Nicholson working at Perkins
←Rate | 04-11-2010 22:14 by Tim Comments (0)  




[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left