the FRED Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Duct tape - $3.79, Shovel - $29.99, 50 lb. bag of lime - $14.99, Life without you - PRICELESS.
←Rate | 03-31-2010 00:02 by The Fred Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
←Rate | 04-10-2010 21:34 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think the sudden stardom of Justin Bieber marks the beginning of the apocalypse.
←Rate | 04-10-2010 23:36 by The Fred Comments (0)  


   messageicon THERE IS A VIRUS SPREADING LIKE WILDFIRE ON FB. DO NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING FROM ANY OF YOUR FRIENDS THAT ASK YOU TO PLAY FARMVILLE. SNOPES JUST CONFIRMED IT WILL CONTROL YOUR LIFE & TURN YOU INTO A LOSER. PLEASE REPOST THIS IN YOUR STATUS.
←Rate | 04-14-2010 00:09 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon sick and is therefore listening to The Cure.
←Rate | 04-15-2010 23:51 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I am king, you will be first against the wall, With your opinion which is of no consequence at all.
←Rate | 04-17-2010 01:51 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like fat girls, they need lovin' too. Unfortunately most Guys won't repost this.
←Rate | 04-18-2010 22:43 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon My safe word is blueberry pancakes. Whoops! this isn't MySpace.
←Rate | 04-19-2010 23:43 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon Look down ur shirt and spell ATTIC.
←Rate | 04-19-2010 23:57 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon why does ben rothlisberger cry after sex? ... because the pepper spray hurts so much.
←Rate | 04-25-2010 02:40 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon For the Mean girl who cut me off, gave me the finger & rolled down your window just to call me A-hole. Next time you should think before you act. You were pulling into your Driveway. Now you have Egg on your face & your car & your house. =)
←Rate | 06-15-2010 01:17 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fat bottomed girls, You make the rockin' world go round.
←Rate | 06-15-2010 01:22 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon How do I set my Lazer Printer to Stun?
←Rate | 08-27-2010 10:01 by The FRED Comments (2)  


   messageicon illegal touching, number 7 Offense.
←Rate | 10-17-2010 14:23 by The Fred Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm watching extreme makeover: home edition in an attempt to invoke an emotion response from my cold and numb soul.
←Rate | 11-07-2010 20:44 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is National Facebook Unfriend Day. I hope you make it to tomorrow as my friend. I just want you to know I'm pulling for you.
←Rate | 11-17-2010 00:29 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon like a good neighbor, state farm I there...with halle berry butt naked feeding me peeled grapes!
←Rate | 03-03-2011 09:49 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon My family was too poor to buy hooked on fonics.
←Rate | 09-23-2011 03:16 by The FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon its National Coming Out Day. What ever you do don't take that call from Grandma. Trust Me on this.
←Rate | 10-11-2011 19:14 by the FRED Comments (0)  


   messageicon It makes sense that Cain can't recognize these women, since at the time he was pushing their heads down to his crotch.
←Rate | 11-09-2011 06:03 by The FRED Comments (0)  




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